Author name: Benjamin Fry

In our closest relationships, communication is often described as the lifeforce that sustains connection, understanding, and intimacy. Yet, for many, trauma can disrupt this vital flow, leaving partners feeling disconnected, misunderstood, or emotionally adrift. Trauma, especially when unaddressed, can stifle communication in profound ways—manifesting as withdrawal, reactivity, or even avoidance of conflict altogether. Understanding how […]

When it comes to human connection, attachment styles shape how we love and relate. Among the four main attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganised—the disorganised attachment style is perhaps the most complex and misunderstood. This style, often rooted in early trauma, creates unique relational challenges that can affect intimacy, self-worth, and emotional regulation. Understanding disorganised

Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby in the 1950s, gave us a map of how our early relationships shape the way we connect with others later in life. For people with avoidant attachment, early experiences of emotional unavailability can create a defence mechanism that lasts into adulthood (Bowlby, 1988). Avoidant individuals often distance themselves emotionally,

Trauma can leave deep emotional scars, often affecting how people connect with others. When the nervous system is dysregulated from past trauma, it becomes challenging to form healthy, secure relationships. However, with the right conditions—like trust, boundaries, and emotional containment—relationships can help heal trauma. The Polyvagal Theory, which explains how our nervous system responds to

Attachment theory, introduced by John Bowlby, sheds light on the profound impact that early childhood relationships have on our emotional and psychological development (Bowlby, 1988). Central to this theory is the idea that our earliest connections with our caregivers – usually our mothers – lay the groundwork for how we will relate to others throughout

Often without knowing it, our trauma, or “baggage,” is present in almost every connection we make. Our unresolved, unfinished business from the times when we felt threatened or overwhelmed stays with us, affecting the way we deal with human connection and relationships. Our baggage can often make connection feel like walking through a storm. Those

In freeing ourselves from a dysregulated nervous system, an important step is learning how to reframe our experiences and manage our triggers, reactions, and baggage. We need to do this so that we are no longer subject to learned ways of behaviour that negatively impact our lives and the relationships we have with others. The

In freeing ourselves from a dysregulated nervous system, an important step is learning how to reframe our experiences and manage our triggers, reactions, and baggage. We need to do this so that we are no longer subject to learned ways of behaviour that negatively impact our lives and the relationships we have with others. The

In freeing ourselves from a dysregulated nervous system, an important step is learning how to reframe our experiences and manage our triggers, reactions, and baggage. We need to do this so that we are no longer subject to learned ways of behaviour that negatively impact our lives and the relationships we have with others. The

In freeing ourselves from a dysregulated nervous system, an important step is learning how to reframe our experiences. We need to do this so that we are no longer subject to learned ways of behaviour that negatively impact our lives and the relationships we have with others. The goal is to go from the diagram