Events

Combining Benjamin’s expertise as a psychologist, educator, and as an individual who has healed from trauma, these events are for both the public and professionals who wish to develop within the field of trauma recovery
Upcoming Events

Erotic Intelligence: Cultivating Desire and Aliveness in Your Relationships with Benjamin Fry and Esther Perel

  • February 15 - 22, 2025
  • Blue Spirit Costa Rica
  • Online / Zoom
Explore More

Join globally-celebrated relationship expert Esther Perel, MA, LMFT, alongside Paul Browde, MD (storyteller, IFS-informed psychiatrist), Benjamin Fry, MA, MBACP (author, founder – Khiron Clinics) and Leslie Salmon Jones and Jeff W. Jones (Afro Flow Yoga®) for an intensive that will deepen connection, playfulness and vitality in your relationships. We will combine discussion, interactive exercises, and physical practices surrounded by the natural beauty of this blue zone. In an atmosphere free of judgment, we will present a nuanced, multicultural understanding of love, desire, and erotic intimacy.

You will learn to:

  • Inhabit a new definition of eroticism that extends far beyond mere sexual performance to include aliveness, playfulness and creativity.
  • Elicit spontaneity and step out of your familiar routines that keep you feeling dissatisfied, uninspired or fearful.
  • Deeply understand your erotic self – your longings, inhibitions and prohibitions, as well as your values and beliefs about intimacy and pleasure.
  • Practice the art of deep listening and connection, and understand how to transcend challenges when personal histories, or trauma  make that more difficult.
  • Have courageous conversations, by taking emotional risks and open up your communication channels. Develop the tools to make these conversations safe – even if they trigger you.
  • Explore the need for security and closeness with the quest for separateness and passion, reconciling hyper-connection with solitude and using your imagination and inner resources to soothe yourself.
  • Move beyond your comfort zone into an expansive and fully charged connection.

KEY QUESTIONS TO EXPLORE (among many others!)

  • Desire: Why does great sex so often fade for couples that love each other as much as ever? When we love how does it feel? and when we desire how is it different?
  • Intimacy & Eroticism: Why does good intimacy not guarantee good sex?
  • Infidelity: Why is the forbidden so erotic?
  • The Art of Difference: How do our differences as individuals become our strengths together?

We welcome clinicians and lay participants as well as couples and individuals of all orientations.

Past Events

The Body Keeps the Score – How To Heal Trauma: Dr Bessel van der Kolk in conversation with Benjamin Fry

  • 18 Dec 2020
  • 18:30 - 19:30
  • Online / Zoom
  • Books are dispatched shortly after the event. UK delivery only.
  • Individual tickets are £15-20, or free for subscribers to How To +
  • A link to replay the event will be made available 48 hours after the event is over to enjoy without a time limit.
Watch Interview

Traumatic experiences leave their imprint on the body as well as the mind.

In this livestream event held in collaboration with MindHealth360, Dr Bessel van der Kolk and Benjamin Fry will explore a powerful new paradigm for healing.

The effects of trauma can be devastating for sufferers and their families – from the experience of incomprehensible anxiety and numbing rage to difficulty forming trusting relationships, concentrating and feeling at home in one’s own body. Having lost the sense of control of themselves and frustrated by failed therapies, sufferers often fear that they are damaged beyond repair.

But the helplessness and invisibility associated with trauma need not be inevitable. Drawn from more than thirty years at the forefront of research and clinical practice, Dr Bessel van der Kolk’s global bestseller The Body Keeps The Score showed us that the terror and isolation at the core of trauma literally reshape both brain and body – and demonstrated a new approach to recovery, moving away from standard talking and drug therapies to heal mind, brain and body.

Now Dr van der Kolk joins us in conversation with psychotherapist and author of The Invisible Lion, Benjamin Fry, to explore his bold new paradigm for treatment. Fusing insights from the cutting-edge of neuroscience with the weight of decades of experience as an active therapist, Dr van der Kolk will reveal the power of our relationships – whether in the intimacy of the home or in our wider communities – to both hurt and heal.

Join us to discover how both adults and children can reclaim ownership of their bodies and their lives.

This livestream is held in collaboration with MindHealth360

MindHealth360 is a free guide to head-to-toe mental health. Their aim is to empower patients, their friends, families and health practitioners, with the awareness, knowledge and resources to heal. They believe that integrative and functional medicine provide the most sustainable solutions to common mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, insomnia, poor memory and attention. This is because we know that for long term healing to take place, all the factors which impact our mental health must be taken into account, and are inseparable: lifestyle factors, psycho-spiritual factors, and biochemical factors all overlap and impact each other to contribute to our particular mental health issues.

Praise for Dr Bessel van der Kolk:

‘Dr. van der Kolk’s masterpiece combines the boundless curiosity of the scientist, the erudition of the scholar, and the passion of the truth teller.’ Judith Herman, author of Trauma and Recovery

‘Van der Kolk draws on thirty years of experience to argue powerfully that trauma is one of the West’s most urgent public health issues … Packed with science and human stories.’ New Scientist

‘Breathtaking in its scope and breadth, a seminal work by one of the preeminent pioneers in trauma research and treatment.’ Peter A. Levine, author of In An Unspoken Voice

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