I find it truly great that we can correspond directly with an author of a book when we have questions relating to them. Keep up the good work.
I have read your book and applied the exercises. Answers that appeared relate to previous experiences and provide a view of projection that I make when confronted by those issues.
In hypnosis, three things were brought out that were traumatic experiences from my past :
1) My dad screaming at me when I was a child (i'm guessing around 5 or 6) that I was 'useless'.
2) Finding my mum in an emotional state on anti-depressants while my dad was working the other side of the world (aged 10)
3) Trying to be involved in conversation between my older brother and my mum, but not even being 'allowed' in the room
Taking these into account and other incidents I deduced from the exercises that I have emotions to run from the following feelings
feeling of not being able to fight back
feeling of anger at my dad for my mums state
feelings of rejection
feelings of inability
feelings of not trusting advise from my father or mother
To add to this equation a short lifestory (from my perspective)
Mum divorced with my brother. Remarried my dad. My dad young, 21, my mum 29. they lost baby daughter to unknown disease (my mum still blames herself for making a 'wrong decision' on what hospital to go to). I appeared two years later. My dad had a few jobs until he found a job that took him overseas to earn more money. Not home during the week or for longer periods. My mum (with her parents around the corner) but seeming to live for a daily phone call from my dad. My dad (on the surface) made ALL the decisions, dictating what we did, how money was to be spent. My mum would have a budget but he wuld be free to spend what he liked on alcohol. When he was home at weekends he seemed to spend a noticeable percentage of it down the pub. My mum catering to him when he returned. Like me, looking forward to seeing him. More of a critisicing father than a warm father. 15 years ago, much larger income, my dad with a pre-mediated decision to leave my mum for another woman. 12 years on, my dad happily remarried to a (different) younger woman, my mum still stuck and 'unhappy'.
And now to me. I started working overseas when I was 18/19. And enjoyed it, though in recent years, I felt that although I was enjoying working out of the UK, I only took what jobs were available to someone unskilled. 8 years ago I started to search for a career and have reviewed just about every option.
People tell me I should be a teacher, I know I have good skills as a teacher. However I just don't enjoy it. I always tend to go back in it for reasons of financial survival not happiness. After the first year I did at teaching I was like 'OK, lets do the next job'. I have no passion for teaching. When people mention it, I am very resistant to it, even though I can't seem to say why. I have a passion for aviation but I don't know where I fit in, where that passion comes out.
In my head I have this critic saying just be a teacher, in my heart I have this yearning to be something else.
Any clarification or work I can do....?
