[suzy]

Hi Benjamin,

I just wanted to say a big thank you to you and Jay and Mark and everyone on the Spendaholics team. Spendaholics has helped and inspired me so much and I am now finally debt free after paying off £17,080 in two and a half years. I'm 32 and I have been in debt since I was 18 and I have always struggled with my overspending. It has been hard work and I've had to make a lot of sacrifices to become debt free but it feels so worth it now.

I am also on a psychological journey as I have suffered from eating disorders since the age of 15 and I am having psychotherapy to help me deal with all my issues. It's so hard but I'm determined to stick with it and to get better. I've found your psychological insights on the programme really interesting and helpful and I definitely believe that psychological issues were the cause of my own overspending.

I know I still have a long way to go but becoming debt free has made me feel more positive about what I can achieve.

Thank you so much again.

Suzy

[crappotheclown]

Good for you, that's really nice to hear. I like inspiring stories of people getting through it.
keep going and well done again!
xxxxx

[suzy]

crappotheclown, on Apr 29 2007, 10:44 PM, said:

Good for you, that's really nice to hear. I like inspiring stories of people getting through it.
keep going and well done again!
xxxxx

Hi there,

Thank you for replying and your kind words, I really appreciate it. I still can't believe I am really debt free - it feels unreal. It has been a long hard struggle but definitely worth it.

I read your other post and so I know you have debts too - how are you getting on? I can also relate to the sadness and loneliness you mentioned and the feeling that you don't deserve nice things. I have been told that I try to buy peoples love and I know that is something I unconsciously try to do.

I really hope that you are getting some help for your problems and that you will soon be debt free too - if I can do it anyone can.

Take care.

Suzy x

[crappotheclown]

You've done incredibly well! What was the main change you made to your spending habits to turn things around? I live pretty on the cheap anyway but still seem to be constantly skint!
I'm getting on ok. Work have a habit of not paying me properly and I don't have the confidence to mention it so I just leave myself in a hole. It's horrible knowing it's my own fault but my fear of telling them they're wrong is just too much for me to take.
I have various therapies and things, but they don't really help much sadly. Boderlines are notorious as unfixable problem patients, so i've read.
thanks again for sharing your story!
h xxxxx

[suzy]

Hi again!

I think the main change I made to my spending habits was planning and tracking all my spending on a spreadsheet. I know it sounds really boring but it kept me focused and it really did work! I also sold a lot of my stuff on Ebay and Amazon, did a car boot sale and also used internet cashback sites to make some free money to treat myself occasionally which helped to keep me going.

I'm sorry to hear about your problems. Its not good that your work have a habit of not paying you properly. I work in a finance department and one of the things I do is the payroll - I would honestly want someone to come and tell me if they thought their pay was wrong because its important and I would want it to be right. You don't have to go and tell them its wrong outright - if they are approachable why don't you just ask them if they will check it and explain to you how it has been calculated? In doing so they should find the mistakes and it would be straightforward enough for them to put it right. If you feel you can't approach the people who do the payroll could you speak to your manager about it? You really need to get this sorted out and it will make you feel better if you do.

I'm sorry to hear that your various therapies and things don't seem to be working but try to think positively and try not to give up. You are worth so much more than you think.

Take care

Suzy x

[crappotheclown]

i tried that spreadsheet idea too, i was quite dilligent with it for a while and it was ok but eventually i lost interest. the problem i find is that when i have a confidence crisis i just give up trying to sort things out. I could do with selling a load of stuff on ebay myself, i may ask someone to guide me through it and try and make some money that way.
I will definitely speak to my boss on Tuesday after you gave me your advice. I think i felt like I was letting them down by telling them they'd got it wrong and like i'd be causing someone too much work, but if you say it's easy to fix i'll speak to them. thank you for putting my mind at ease. i hate feeling like i'm taking up anyone's time.
thanks for being so lovely, it makes me happy to see you have posted here!
hugs
xx

[suzy]

I really hope you talked to your boss, I was thinking about you today. You really are not letting anyone down by telling them they've got it wrong, please don't think that. I would be mortified if I thought I could be paying someone the wrong amount each month and I would want to put that right and get it right in the future. They will be able to fix it and even if it does cause them a little bit more work, that's their job remember!

Remember that you are an important person too and you deserve to take up people's time sometimes. I know that's really easy to say and less easy to feel but its true!

Ebay is a brilliant way of making some extra money, its really not difficult and the site just guides you through the setting up process. It's definitely worth a go! I know what you mean when you say that you have a confidence crisis and then you just give up trying to sort things out...I'm like that too. We'll both have to have some confidence lessons or something!

Don't forget to let me know how you got on at work.

xxx

[crappotheclown]

i did speak to my boss, she said i was being ridiculous and totally deserve the money i had worked for. it was a big relief, i'd built it up into such a massive issue. thank you! i've got to email her the dates i think i was paid wrong and she'll give me copies of my timesheets to take to payroll for them to check. so it's a bit of a mission but should be worth it. i'll get that done tonight as i've got a bit of time.
Also, I will give ebay a go, i've got a load of CDs and stuff that needs shifting. Yes, I will sort that out. I'm feeling productive and it'd be nice to sort my life out a bit! plus i love sending people packages so that'll be extra fun!
I see Lucky has posted here again, love him, that was one of my favourite shows.Did you watch this weeks? I thought of you and smiled when i saw jay and Ben's scarves!
Keep your chin up honey!
xxxxx

[suzy]

Hi there!

I hope you're OK, I've been thinking of you.

I just wanted to let you know I've emailed you.

Hope to talk to you soon, take care.

xxx