Im living in a city which has no history for me, we moved here to escape persecution from the yob gangs and now my partner wants to move back to be closer to his parents.
I originally moved to my partners town to go to university. I never intended staying.
My mother took my two girls off me and now they hate me, i dont have much to do with any of my family.
I have no roots, little family and dont know where i can call home. I have tried to make something of myself by spending 7years learning a trade to be self employed, but have had no opportunity to use my skill. Ive trained for several skills but each time ive been thwarted by red tape/people/finance. I am quite an accomplished person and have much experience but its done me no good.
I dont feel safe moving back to my partners home town, anyway i hate the town, its too rough and theres a distinct lack of community spirit.
We have both been unable to work for the past 3 and a half years due to anxiety and depression.
I personally feel that ive had enough of life, theres nothing here for me. Im bored with life/food/people and dont want to be around just to be a constant victim. If this is all there is id rather not be here.
I dont have a place i can call home, ive never had the opportunity to make something of myself, ive done the training but cant put it to use so whats the point trying, do i keep on benefits until i get my pension? What an existence. Id rather not bother anymore.
I dont sleep, food is utterly boring, personal hygiene very poor. Ive no motivation, just intense frustration.
where do i call home? hmm i dont think its on earth do you? I feel as if i shouldnt be here, like ive outstayed my welcome and theres nothing more for me. im 52 and female.
