I don't know where to turn for answers. I have recently found out a lot of information about my husband from a friend of his. It all makes sense. I have caught him cheating on me and I also know he masturbates a lot. His friend told me that he ran around on his ex-wife all the time and he is the type to fool around with anyone. I know he lies to me all the time and he tries to make me feel like I am over reacting about a lot of things. Now that his friend has told me all of this info about him I see through all the lies. I found porn magazines of supposedly young girls. The other night I walked in on him late at night in his office looking at a magazine and then last night he told me to get up and go to bed from the den and then he came in an hour later. He wanted me to go to bed so he could look at his young girls and play with himself. Is this normal behavior for a man that gets sex on a regular basis? Help, I don't understand!!
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I think I am married to a sex addict! Sexual addiction?
#2
Benjamin Fry 
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Posted 01 July 2004 - 12:35 PM
Based on what you say, it would appear that you are correct is supposing that your husband is a sex addict. If he is willing to get help then you may be able to help him by being part of that process. If his is unwilling then you may have to accept that he will be an addict until he chooses not to be.
In the meantime you should look into your own psychological dynamic to understand why and how you became the partner of an addict. There are many publications and organisations that can help. SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) would be a great resource for both you and your husband to understand how you reached this point and what you can do next. They may have meetings in your area and there will be information on the internet. Individual and couple counselling may also help, particularly from a practitioner with experience of sexual issues.
Donít despair. This could be a great opportunity to learn and grow as a couple. It need not be the end of your marriage if you are both willing to accept each otherís limitations and support at least the little that each can do to try to develop from here.
In the meantime you should look into your own psychological dynamic to understand why and how you became the partner of an addict. There are many publications and organisations that can help. SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) would be a great resource for both you and your husband to understand how you reached this point and what you can do next. They may have meetings in your area and there will be information on the internet. Individual and couple counselling may also help, particularly from a practitioner with experience of sexual issues.
Donít despair. This could be a great opportunity to learn and grow as a couple. It need not be the end of your marriage if you are both willing to accept each otherís limitations and support at least the little that each can do to try to develop from here.
visit benjaminfry.co.uk for more information on my work
support getstable.org for better mental health treatment in the UK
support getstable.org for better mental health treatment in the UK
#3
despneedofhelp
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Posted 24 January 2005 - 12:14 AM
my last relationship was like that. we would have sex 3-4 times a day and as soon as i left the house he was pulling out the magazines or getting online. we got behind on everything because he would spend all of his money on porn. i finally told him therapy or get out. needless to say we are no longer together
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