hello benjamin
for the last 6 years, i have suffered from panic attacks.....at the
moment they are almost constant.....when i say constant..it seems they occur
pretty much every 10 minutes or so......life can be very difficult.
they manifest themselves as anxiety and nausea usually.......i have
adopted the technique of chewing gum and taking a drink of water to try to
alleviate them....with varying dregrees of success.
now, i cannot go anywhere without making sure i feel ok and that i have
liquid and gum with me at all times....as you can imagine this is very
limiting and also very depressing since i seem to be ruled by them. it's
very rare throughout the day that i'm not analysing how i feel and whether
or not i feel sick.
recently tho...having started taking anti-depressants{which i stopped after a week} the anxiety has increased even more and i have blacked
out a few times,once waking up in an empty bath lying in my own
vomit....which as i'm sure you can appreciate is very risky and very
distressing.
i have also given up smoking cannabis which i have done for about 14
years.......because it just seems to compound or magnify the paranoia and
nausea i feel.
i receive sickness benefit for my depression and it's symptoms since they
render me almost incapable of doing things in a normal way.
i play in a band...god knows how, but i do.......when i'm on stage, i am
pretty much totally absorbed by my need and passion for the music so a piece
of gum and an occasional swig of water is enough to keep me going .
i am considering hypnotherapy at the moment..which i have had
before,{along with cognitive therapy } to no real effect....but i have
suffered with this for so long now and i am so desperate to alleviate these
pangs of anxiety and panic that i feel i must try again.....try something
that will help for the good.
i am so sick of being ruled by this shadow of what can only be described as fear that it just adds to my depression and i am caught in a cycle that drives me mad
sometimes.
can you offer any words of advice please? anything to start along what i
know must be a long road to 'normality' {if that's the right word } .
thanks
panic attacks
#2
Benjamin Fry 
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Posted 01 July 2004 - 09:00 AM
You have certainly suffered. I know that feeling of being constantly alert to the possibility of not feeling fine, which in itself makes you feel endlessly anxious. Itís a vicious cycle and a difficult one to break.
That kind of alertness to your own state of being is one that I would not recommend you to mix with chemicals. You must listen to your doctor or psychiatrist, but equally you should make them aware that you are very sensitive to the state of your body and mind. External agents within that might be very confusing.
And for godís sake forget about the cannabis. I canít think of anything worse.
Your anxiety will be the result of some underlying psychological condition based on a reservoir of unresolved fear-based trauma. The challenge you face is how to access and to release that trauma. The problem here may be that if you do start to access it, you may actually start to feel worse, because the strong feelings of fear that were avoided by the trauma are now beginning to come out. In fact, it may be that you are already doing so having given up the cannabis.
The only way out of this is through it. You need to find every (healthy) resource and crutch that you can and use it to support you through what may be a long time of healing. I know that this is rather vague and may not be of much use, but unfortunately thatís the truth. The anxiety is symptomatic of unreleased feelings that may themselves be fear, or may be so overwhelming as to cause great fear in you (hence perhaps the blackout and vomiting). You need help exhuming these feelings.
Counselling and therapy would be my first recommendation. If you canít access this then you can do-it-yourself by keeping a journal of your emotions, thoughts and feelings. The task is to get the stuff out (e-motion). You can do that very well just onto paper. Healthy practices such as yoga, meditation and even just plain old exercise always worked well for me. Your anxiety will make you not want to do this, but if you force yourself you may become less anxious. Most teachers will be able to help you if you tell them whatís going on for you in advance. This will also help you to feel more comfortable going to a yoga or meditation class. And you can take your water bottle with you!
Hypnotherapy may have some benefits in giving you a short-term crutch to lean on but the deeper work will always remain. In the same vein, look into NLP. I did it once with instant results, but it doesnít last forever. If it works, use the relief to get working on the underlying issues.
For a support network, you might like to try a NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting. You could say everything you said in your post here, throw up, chew gum, run screaming out of the room, and no one would bat an eyelid. Instead youíd get some real human understanding and support; and you may find others who have used cannabis and shared your symptoms in the past.
That kind of alertness to your own state of being is one that I would not recommend you to mix with chemicals. You must listen to your doctor or psychiatrist, but equally you should make them aware that you are very sensitive to the state of your body and mind. External agents within that might be very confusing.
And for godís sake forget about the cannabis. I canít think of anything worse.
Your anxiety will be the result of some underlying psychological condition based on a reservoir of unresolved fear-based trauma. The challenge you face is how to access and to release that trauma. The problem here may be that if you do start to access it, you may actually start to feel worse, because the strong feelings of fear that were avoided by the trauma are now beginning to come out. In fact, it may be that you are already doing so having given up the cannabis.
The only way out of this is through it. You need to find every (healthy) resource and crutch that you can and use it to support you through what may be a long time of healing. I know that this is rather vague and may not be of much use, but unfortunately thatís the truth. The anxiety is symptomatic of unreleased feelings that may themselves be fear, or may be so overwhelming as to cause great fear in you (hence perhaps the blackout and vomiting). You need help exhuming these feelings.
Counselling and therapy would be my first recommendation. If you canít access this then you can do-it-yourself by keeping a journal of your emotions, thoughts and feelings. The task is to get the stuff out (e-motion). You can do that very well just onto paper. Healthy practices such as yoga, meditation and even just plain old exercise always worked well for me. Your anxiety will make you not want to do this, but if you force yourself you may become less anxious. Most teachers will be able to help you if you tell them whatís going on for you in advance. This will also help you to feel more comfortable going to a yoga or meditation class. And you can take your water bottle with you!
Hypnotherapy may have some benefits in giving you a short-term crutch to lean on but the deeper work will always remain. In the same vein, look into NLP. I did it once with instant results, but it doesnít last forever. If it works, use the relief to get working on the underlying issues.
For a support network, you might like to try a NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting. You could say everything you said in your post here, throw up, chew gum, run screaming out of the room, and no one would bat an eyelid. Instead youíd get some real human understanding and support; and you may find others who have used cannabis and shared your symptoms in the past.
visit benjaminfry.co.uk for more information on my work
support getstable.org for better mental health treatment in the UK
support getstable.org for better mental health treatment in the UK
#3
dpm
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Posted 28 September 2004 - 10:56 PM
hi banjamin..how are you? i am not good... at all.
having given up the evil weed about 3 months ago plus, i started briefly to feel better and foolishly beagn to smoke again, just a little here and there.......then, after another month, i felt so bad that i gave up once more.
now i feel absolutely terrible....i am completely full of anxiety and fear, as i often was before but now it seeems much much more powerful and debilitating.
my throat seems to almost constantly be in a state of near-gagging, i have very few respites from this feeling and simple things like going up the road to the shops feel me with huge dread.
i seem to have developed a kind of powerful claustrophobia too, meaning that i feel i need to escape situations wher i feel uncomfortable very quickly .....and desperately.
i thought/hoped all this was a kind of withdrawal from the weed and from the tobacco i smoked with it but it seems to be dragging on for an age. it's been three weeks now since i last smoked and i just can't believe that the cannabis has anything to do with all my problems now.
sometimes i just want this massive anxiety to stop so badly that i am prepared to just accept any drugs from my doctor..as long as it ends these feelings. they reduce all my energy and powers of concentraion to nothing and drain me of any enthusiasm i can muster.
i now seem to worrying about worrying. a vicious circle has been enetered and i need to find a way out. any situation i enter is almost automatically overshadowed by my recurring thought of 'how do i feel'? and once, it seems i ask this question, i am on a downhill spiral to feeling terrible again.
am i having some kind of breakdown?
any advice please?
thanks.
having given up the evil weed about 3 months ago plus, i started briefly to feel better and foolishly beagn to smoke again, just a little here and there.......then, after another month, i felt so bad that i gave up once more.
now i feel absolutely terrible....i am completely full of anxiety and fear, as i often was before but now it seeems much much more powerful and debilitating.
my throat seems to almost constantly be in a state of near-gagging, i have very few respites from this feeling and simple things like going up the road to the shops feel me with huge dread.
i seem to have developed a kind of powerful claustrophobia too, meaning that i feel i need to escape situations wher i feel uncomfortable very quickly .....and desperately.
i thought/hoped all this was a kind of withdrawal from the weed and from the tobacco i smoked with it but it seems to be dragging on for an age. it's been three weeks now since i last smoked and i just can't believe that the cannabis has anything to do with all my problems now.
sometimes i just want this massive anxiety to stop so badly that i am prepared to just accept any drugs from my doctor..as long as it ends these feelings. they reduce all my energy and powers of concentraion to nothing and drain me of any enthusiasm i can muster.
i now seem to worrying about worrying. a vicious circle has been enetered and i need to find a way out. any situation i enter is almost automatically overshadowed by my recurring thought of 'how do i feel'? and once, it seems i ask this question, i am on a downhill spiral to feeling terrible again.
am i having some kind of breakdown?
any advice please?
thanks.
#4
Benjamin Fry
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Posted 30 September 2004 - 05:05 PM
Been there. Done that. Donít want the t-shirt. Itís not fun, but it perhaps is healing. These are the feelings that you have been smoking weed to avoid. These are the feelings that you wish to let pass through your body so that you no longer need to smoke weed. These are the feelings that you have kept at bay for many, many years, precisely because they are so awfully difficult to manage.
To be honest, it sounds more like you are having a breakthrough than a breakdown, however others might not agree. You donít say that these feelings are stopping you functioning (as in don't have any money, canít buy food etc.), just that they make ordinary things very difficult. Therefore, literally, you are not broken down.
The panic about the panic is a common problem among anxiety suffers. All I can say is that once the real panic subsides, the panic about the panic slowly learns to subside too. So the main issue to face is processing the core emotions. You might be able to facilitate this process and feel more supported while you do so if you accept some counselling to guide you through where these feelings come from, and to help you to articulate them. However it may that at the core of all of this is a massive overload of fear (most likely a non-verbal, primal fear from early childhood) and in the end the only way for you to move on from there is to let this fear out through your mind-body system. Do you have any idea where these fears might have originated? Was there any interruption in your nurturing when you were very young? Any medical issues? Depression in your mother, or absence of a parent? If so, let me know and think about what happened to your feelings about that subsequently. Have you ever been able to talk about such things with your family?
Some people spend years in therapy trying to get their feelings moving. Youíre doing it. And you are staying with it. And you are staying off drugs. Thatís a huge achievement. However I do think you would benefit from some human contact and empathic support. Have you considered finding a NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting in your area? It might sound daunting, but you would get a lot of help from people who understand what youíre going through. Also, no one minds if you turn up and flee from the room in a blind panic! Thatís routine.
Try to get some help and hang on in there. Itís always darkest before the dawn and usually thereís no end in sight while the feelings are moving through you. However, as quick as they came, they often go again. And so on, and so on. The best thing that you can do is to organise yourself so that you have the resources you need to lean on to help you stay with the process.
To be honest, it sounds more like you are having a breakthrough than a breakdown, however others might not agree. You donít say that these feelings are stopping you functioning (as in don't have any money, canít buy food etc.), just that they make ordinary things very difficult. Therefore, literally, you are not broken down.
The panic about the panic is a common problem among anxiety suffers. All I can say is that once the real panic subsides, the panic about the panic slowly learns to subside too. So the main issue to face is processing the core emotions. You might be able to facilitate this process and feel more supported while you do so if you accept some counselling to guide you through where these feelings come from, and to help you to articulate them. However it may that at the core of all of this is a massive overload of fear (most likely a non-verbal, primal fear from early childhood) and in the end the only way for you to move on from there is to let this fear out through your mind-body system. Do you have any idea where these fears might have originated? Was there any interruption in your nurturing when you were very young? Any medical issues? Depression in your mother, or absence of a parent? If so, let me know and think about what happened to your feelings about that subsequently. Have you ever been able to talk about such things with your family?
Some people spend years in therapy trying to get their feelings moving. Youíre doing it. And you are staying with it. And you are staying off drugs. Thatís a huge achievement. However I do think you would benefit from some human contact and empathic support. Have you considered finding a NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting in your area? It might sound daunting, but you would get a lot of help from people who understand what youíre going through. Also, no one minds if you turn up and flee from the room in a blind panic! Thatís routine.
Try to get some help and hang on in there. Itís always darkest before the dawn and usually thereís no end in sight while the feelings are moving through you. However, as quick as they came, they often go again. And so on, and so on. The best thing that you can do is to organise yourself so that you have the resources you need to lean on to help you stay with the process.
visit benjaminfry.co.uk for more information on my work
support getstable.org for better mental health treatment in the UK
support getstable.org for better mental health treatment in the UK
#5 Guest_Guest_dpm_*
Posted 01 October 2004 - 12:11 AM
i am starting to go to a community drug counsellor but even going there, tho i want to so much , is very very hard to do.
yesterday, in a vain attempt to find a solution, i started taking an anti-depressant called ventaline which made me feel absolutely terrible. i can only imagine that the effects were similar to those of your first hit of heroin: intense nausea, massive anxiety, heart pounding and profuse sweating. for over an hour, i felt awful then for three hours, although i was obviosuly high and mani, i felt quite good. then, i tried to sleep and of course, since my brain was in overdrive, i failed until about 6am.
i was told by my g.p. that my symptoms seemed rather extreme, that i was reacting to the sedative in the pills and to stop right away. my drug counsellor told me that i may be allergic to the tablets. so that avanue seems to be closed...unlesss i start taking half doses and build up slowly.....but i doubt very much i can handle taking something that so amplifies all my problems in the hope that they go way within a week or so.
i seem to have developed huge general and social anxiety. the very thought of interreacting with others in what was once a very normal situation can often fill me with fear.
i do find it very difficult indeed to function normally so it does affect my day to day life a lot. i make myself go out and do things but i still feel pretty much awful while i'm doing them...and some things are vitually impossible for me now since i feel a wave of anxiety and dread washing over me and my heart jumps.
i had no problems as an {only} child as you asked ,apart from fairly frequent 'night terrors' where i would scream during my sleep and be very hard to wake up .
i do have tho, as you said ,an overwhelimng sense of fear , and guilt plays a big part in my emotions for one reason or another....mainly because i feel i've let myself down in life and am nowhere near even the minor success i hoped i would be.
yesterday, in a vain attempt to find a solution, i started taking an anti-depressant called ventaline which made me feel absolutely terrible. i can only imagine that the effects were similar to those of your first hit of heroin: intense nausea, massive anxiety, heart pounding and profuse sweating. for over an hour, i felt awful then for three hours, although i was obviosuly high and mani, i felt quite good. then, i tried to sleep and of course, since my brain was in overdrive, i failed until about 6am.
i was told by my g.p. that my symptoms seemed rather extreme, that i was reacting to the sedative in the pills and to stop right away. my drug counsellor told me that i may be allergic to the tablets. so that avanue seems to be closed...unlesss i start taking half doses and build up slowly.....but i doubt very much i can handle taking something that so amplifies all my problems in the hope that they go way within a week or so.
i seem to have developed huge general and social anxiety. the very thought of interreacting with others in what was once a very normal situation can often fill me with fear.
i do find it very difficult indeed to function normally so it does affect my day to day life a lot. i make myself go out and do things but i still feel pretty much awful while i'm doing them...and some things are vitually impossible for me now since i feel a wave of anxiety and dread washing over me and my heart jumps.
i had no problems as an {only} child as you asked ,apart from fairly frequent 'night terrors' where i would scream during my sleep and be very hard to wake up .
i do have tho, as you said ,an overwhelimng sense of fear , and guilt plays a big part in my emotions for one reason or another....mainly because i feel i've let myself down in life and am nowhere near even the minor success i hoped i would be.
#6 Guest_Guest_*
Posted 01 October 2004 - 01:49 AM
My doctor put me on heavy doses of anxiety medication plus antidepressant, so that the anxiety would cease immediately, which gave the antidepressant the six weeks it needed to kick in. Never felt better. Now I am decreasing the anxiety medication week by week. Highly recommend this method.
Best wishes
Best wishes
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Posted 01 October 2004 - 10:29 PM
That's a good idea. Obviously you are not reacting well to the dosage you have been prescribed...Your doctor would say the same, I think. Good luck. Be sure and consult with him as you do this step. Don't want any worse reactions. 
#9
dpm
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Posted 01 October 2004 - 10:51 PM
well..my doc said i could either cease completely or take the half dose.....so i took the half and it made me feel quite nauseous...on and off at least....but it seems much better this time.
sleeping on it is tough tho...since it brings on majorly frantic brain activity in me. is taking mild sleeping tablets ok with anti-depressants?
my worry is that i have to play some gigs in a month and right now my co-ordination seems a bit awry....will this last or fade?
and what were you doing awake at 2 49 the other night? are you sure the tabs worked for you?
i hope so!!
thanks dude/dudette
sleeping on it is tough tho...since it brings on majorly frantic brain activity in me. is taking mild sleeping tablets ok with anti-depressants?
my worry is that i have to play some gigs in a month and right now my co-ordination seems a bit awry....will this last or fade?
and what were you doing awake at 2 49 the other night? are you sure the tabs worked for you?
i hope so!! thanks dude/dudette
#10 Guest_Guest_*
Posted 02 October 2004 - 11:19 AM
Give it time...try to be patient.
I'm in the US, so it was only about 9pm or so! I slept like a baby as usual.
When I was taking a whole tablet three times a day I would sort of weave when I tried walking...sometimes I would just sort of fall down or trip on things. It was very strange, but it wasn't dangerous...that's when I talked to my doctor.
However, I wasn't worrying about a thing!
Half a tab, three times a day, plus antidepressant, is the solution for me.
Can't say what is best for you. Remember I am talking about two different medications here. Maybe there is even a smaller dose than half a tablet?
I'm a dudette...very old and partially wiser now.
Hope your playing goes well. Talk to your doctor again right away .
I'm in the US, so it was only about 9pm or so! I slept like a baby as usual.
When I was taking a whole tablet three times a day I would sort of weave when I tried walking...sometimes I would just sort of fall down or trip on things. It was very strange, but it wasn't dangerous...that's when I talked to my doctor.
However, I wasn't worrying about a thing!
Half a tab, three times a day, plus antidepressant, is the solution for me.
Can't say what is best for you. Remember I am talking about two different medications here. Maybe there is even a smaller dose than half a tablet?
I'm a dudette...very old and partially wiser now.
Hope your playing goes well. Talk to your doctor again right away .
#11
dpm
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Posted 02 October 2004 - 04:05 PM
hello again...well i took a half dose of something called efexor.....which i believe has sedative and anti-depresaant in it ,but i felt ok for only about two hours, then i tried to sleep and felt awful. kept waking up in a panic and wretching. not nice. and the taste in my mouth is disgusting too.
don't know if i can handle taking it anymore...it seems worse then my original condition. i just have to sleep for ages when i take it til i feel like i can get up.
gonna see my doc on monday to discuss it.
i bet you're not that old i'm quite old too!...not sure how wise i am after the last few weeks tho.
i wish i could 'not worry about a thing' . feel like i need to be drugged so i feel nothing . which is an option, i guess. but not one i like the sound of really.
don't know if i can handle taking it anymore...it seems worse then my original condition. i just have to sleep for ages when i take it til i feel like i can get up.
gonna see my doc on monday to discuss it.
i bet you're not that old
i'm quite old too!...not sure how wise i am after the last few weeks tho. i wish i could 'not worry about a thing' . feel like i need to be drugged so i feel nothing . which is an option, i guess. but not one i like the sound of really.
#12
Benjamin Fry
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Posted 02 October 2004 - 06:04 PM
Iím sure that medication is an excellent emergency relief from overwhelming symptoms. However it does often seem to carry with it many of the issues that you are discussing. Thatís why it can become a source of anxiety in itself. In the end the medication should be seen as a bridge to get you stable enough (if necessary) to start to address the core emotional issues. That is the real work that must be done if you want to find autonomous health.
Iím struck by your frequent night terrors. Fear doesnít come from nowhere. This suggests perhaps some very strong, very early, non verbal fears, which would tally with the feelings that are now emerging. For example, you may have been left to cry yourself to sleep at an early age (and this seemed normal to your parents so no one has mentioned it) but actually you were just terrified each night to the point of abandon. Or it could have been anything else. But it is likely to be something very early from before you could remember yourself. Is there anyone you can ask? Guilt is also another indicator or early trauma. Young babies and children think everything is their fault, simply because they donít yet recognise the existence of the wider world. If, for example, your mother had bad post natal depression, you may have sensed that she was suffering, had insufficient care from her, been afraid and believed that it was your fault ñ all before you could even describe this or remember it. Thatís the sort of strong, irrational feelings that you describe. And the only way to be rid of them for ever is to let them out.
Can you find some counselling to help you with that? Have you considered the NA groups? I think you would find both helpful. It sounds like you have an inkling of a desire to deal with this emotionally, and if so medication wonít satisfy you for ever, if ever.
Iím struck by your frequent night terrors. Fear doesnít come from nowhere. This suggests perhaps some very strong, very early, non verbal fears, which would tally with the feelings that are now emerging. For example, you may have been left to cry yourself to sleep at an early age (and this seemed normal to your parents so no one has mentioned it) but actually you were just terrified each night to the point of abandon. Or it could have been anything else. But it is likely to be something very early from before you could remember yourself. Is there anyone you can ask? Guilt is also another indicator or early trauma. Young babies and children think everything is their fault, simply because they donít yet recognise the existence of the wider world. If, for example, your mother had bad post natal depression, you may have sensed that she was suffering, had insufficient care from her, been afraid and believed that it was your fault ñ all before you could even describe this or remember it. Thatís the sort of strong, irrational feelings that you describe. And the only way to be rid of them for ever is to let them out.
Can you find some counselling to help you with that? Have you considered the NA groups? I think you would find both helpful. It sounds like you have an inkling of a desire to deal with this emotionally, and if so medication wonít satisfy you for ever, if ever.
visit benjaminfry.co.uk for more information on my work
support getstable.org for better mental health treatment in the UK
support getstable.org for better mental health treatment in the UK
#13
dpm
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Posted 02 October 2004 - 11:21 PM
i think the guilt is more from being a struggling musician most of my life and not yet succeeding the way i would have liked.......and i watched all my friends get married and have children and all those things i've never thought that i could really commit to in my financial and career position...so i feel like i got left behind somehow.
don't know about the reasons behind the night terrors. maybe i'll make subtle enquiries about that one.
determined to persevere with my medication in an attempt to find something that helps me deal with my anxieties, i took a quarter dose of ephexor. it still gives me a rushing feeling for a while and occasioanal unpleasant feelings of nausea but not nearly as bad as before. maybe i can do this for a few days then build up the dosage.
whatever it takes, i guess....even tho it's s damn hard to take something that seems to worsen my condition before improving it.
don't know about the reasons behind the night terrors. maybe i'll make subtle enquiries about that one.
determined to persevere with my medication in an attempt to find something that helps me deal with my anxieties, i took a quarter dose of ephexor. it still gives me a rushing feeling for a while and occasioanal unpleasant feelings of nausea but not nearly as bad as before. maybe i can do this for a few days then build up the dosage.
whatever it takes, i guess....even tho it's s damn hard to take something that seems to worsen my condition before improving it.
#14 Guest_Guest_*
Posted 03 October 2004 - 07:57 AM
Tried Effexor.. Horrible. Stopped after a few days, if that many. Years ago and I still remember how badly I felt. Same with Welbutrin...lasted one or two days only. Bad side effects for me.
Suggest Lexapro 10mg once a day, with Clonozepan (generic Klonopin) .5mg 3x daily. The second one is the one I only take half of each dose now. The first is the antidepressant. The second is for anxiety, immediate relief. No side effects. I am not a doctor. This just worked for me very well. Each person is different in reactions to medications, no matter what kinds.
Now, see your doctor. See if the doctor is agreeable to trying something different. I get those night terrors when I take over-the-counter Nyquil for colds. So I never take Nyquil.
Best wishes
Suggest Lexapro 10mg once a day, with Clonozepan (generic Klonopin) .5mg 3x daily. The second one is the one I only take half of each dose now. The first is the antidepressant. The second is for anxiety, immediate relief. No side effects. I am not a doctor. This just worked for me very well. Each person is different in reactions to medications, no matter what kinds.
Now, see your doctor. See if the doctor is agreeable to trying something different. I get those night terrors when I take over-the-counter Nyquil for colds. So I never take Nyquil.
Best wishes
#15
dpm
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Posted 03 October 2004 - 03:58 PM
thanks for the advice...i'll ask my doc about those drugs tomorrow. they might work for me too. who knows?!
the hard thing for me with efexor is the rushes at night {the modified release part, i'd guess} which kick me out of sleep and get me paniccing. they are horrible.
messes up my whole sleep pattern, which although shifted round to very late, was , at least regular.
so where are you in the u.s., dudette? or shall i call you mystery g?
the hard thing for me with efexor is the rushes at night {the modified release part, i'd guess} which kick me out of sleep and get me paniccing. they are horrible.
messes up my whole sleep pattern, which although shifted round to very late, was , at least regular.
so where are you in the u.s., dudette? or shall i call you mystery g?
