Hi Guys,
I am a big fan of the programme, even though i am not in debt any more (was £6000 until hard work and some help from family paid it all off) I still pick up loads of hints and tips from the programme to help me make the most of the money i have. I work for a large credit card card company and see people struggling with the debt they have on a daily basis, but still spending more. Now when i use my credit card it makes me feel physically sick and i go into saving overdrive going for weeks spending as little as possible. After a year of living like this i have come to realise that being out of debt and still living like i have no money is just as unhealthy as spending like there is no tomorrow. If i use my credit card for anything i just cant sleep until it is paid off, yet i need to use the cards for those emergencies. I recently moved to a new house which had no carpet and needed totally redecorating, i put £1500 on my credit card for paints and carpets etc..... but i paid it off in 2 months by not spending a penny on anything. Im going to visit my dad in sri lanka this christmas and saved for the last 3 months £2500 so i can pay for it outright. Its a nice thought, but a horrible reality, i dont go out any more dont buy new clothes etc because i am so hell bent on saving money. My big plan was to save £500 a month for a deposit on a house over the next 12 months but my family (who gave me some of the money to pay off my debt 12 months ago) have made me promise to enjoy the next year and put off saving for a few months. I have agreed to this as i can see that im becoming just as unhappy being out of debt as i was when i was in debt (actually im not much better off). I think that it has something to do with the fact that i dont want to let my family down as my mum and stepdad sacrificed a holiday to pay off as much of my debt as possible. I feel like i have to justify everything i spend to them and to be honest it drives them up the wall and they repatedly say that my money is my money and i work hard so i should enjoy it. I first got into debt from going out every night of the week so i ended up with £6k debt and nothing to show for it, now im the opposite, i have pleanty of money in the bank and nothing to show for it.
I have decided to live a little next year, as long as i can pay off my card (or not use it) every month, i am going to enjoy the months and months of hard slog it took me to get this far and have some me time.
James
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Not In Debt no better off
#2 Guest_CJ_*
Posted 24 November 2005 - 12:22 AM
Maybe you're thinking too much about money and expecting it to deliver you more happiness than it ever can.
I mean sure, you should probably try and settle on some moderate level of expenditure so that you can live a bit more comfortably, but don't forget that spending on things like new clothes will only ever offer a hollow and short lived form of happiness.
Perhaps in the past your were spending excessively in an attempt to compensate for other sources of pain in your life, whereas now you seem to be using the thought of these major expenditures like your holiday in order to motivate yourself to live extremely thriftily. However, you should be careful and not build the trip up in your mind to be something more than it can possibly be in reality.
There are people who go through their entire lives scrimping and saving for old age because they have imagined all the great times they will finally be able to indulge in once they have retired. And yet when they get there they find that the thrill of splashing out becomes a pretty fleeting one. Scrimping has become such a fundamental part of their lives that they really donít know what else to do with themselves. It is a lifelong project and an end in itself, and without it they are lost. And so often they simply carry on scrimping until they die.
The same applies for people who work all the hours under the sun but console themselves by thinking about some big purchase that they will eventually be able to afford. It is an undeniably effective motivator, but will inevitably lead to somewhat of an anticlimax. Itís in our nature that whatís new is exciting, whereas whatís familiar soon becomes boring. And itís also in our nature that we become fairly quickly accustomed to what is around us. Therefore, it all boils down to 2 simple choices: You can either buy into the consumer lifestyle and condemn yourself to forever having to buy new products to bring that cheap and fleeting thrill, or say ëto hell with ití, and look elsewhere for meaning and satisfaction.
I guess what I'm saying is it might not be such a good idea to let material matters occupy too central a position in your life. Its easy to get sucked into becoming a 'scrimper' simply because we all love projects - they give our lives direction and meaning. But saving for later indulgences is not a good project, because it means striving after a goal that is unachievable. Therefore, I would strongly advocate not allowing consumption to remain too much of a source of pleasure for you. In the words of the Buddha: ìdesire is the root of all sufferingî.
All the best.
I mean sure, you should probably try and settle on some moderate level of expenditure so that you can live a bit more comfortably, but don't forget that spending on things like new clothes will only ever offer a hollow and short lived form of happiness.
Perhaps in the past your were spending excessively in an attempt to compensate for other sources of pain in your life, whereas now you seem to be using the thought of these major expenditures like your holiday in order to motivate yourself to live extremely thriftily. However, you should be careful and not build the trip up in your mind to be something more than it can possibly be in reality.
There are people who go through their entire lives scrimping and saving for old age because they have imagined all the great times they will finally be able to indulge in once they have retired. And yet when they get there they find that the thrill of splashing out becomes a pretty fleeting one. Scrimping has become such a fundamental part of their lives that they really donít know what else to do with themselves. It is a lifelong project and an end in itself, and without it they are lost. And so often they simply carry on scrimping until they die.
The same applies for people who work all the hours under the sun but console themselves by thinking about some big purchase that they will eventually be able to afford. It is an undeniably effective motivator, but will inevitably lead to somewhat of an anticlimax. Itís in our nature that whatís new is exciting, whereas whatís familiar soon becomes boring. And itís also in our nature that we become fairly quickly accustomed to what is around us. Therefore, it all boils down to 2 simple choices: You can either buy into the consumer lifestyle and condemn yourself to forever having to buy new products to bring that cheap and fleeting thrill, or say ëto hell with ití, and look elsewhere for meaning and satisfaction.
I guess what I'm saying is it might not be such a good idea to let material matters occupy too central a position in your life. Its easy to get sucked into becoming a 'scrimper' simply because we all love projects - they give our lives direction and meaning. But saving for later indulgences is not a good project, because it means striving after a goal that is unachievable. Therefore, I would strongly advocate not allowing consumption to remain too much of a source of pleasure for you. In the words of the Buddha: ìdesire is the root of all sufferingî.
All the best.
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