Sunday 20th Nov 22.02pm
Hi CJ, Sorry fot the delay - my mum turned up ( a last minute arrangement) for the weekend and she only visits us 3 times a year.
Thanks again for your post. Your words are very interesting and I understand what you mean. You mention that the mental picture of my husband is the one that I like the most rather than hubbys true self. I wish I could tell you that thats rubbish - but I regret to say that I cant do that. You are quite right. its the mental picture I like best!!!
Yes, possibly I am subconciously searching for solutions to the problem and yes, maybe I "see her" as someone who can "take me away from iy all" or enjoy a deeper connection with. I know I keep wondering what it would be like to sit down and talk to her in private about my life etc etc etc. Yes, I am seeking reprieve, I go along with that.
I dont think that this woman is trying for one moment to seduce me but some sort of "interest" is there. I was sat across the table from her the other day and she looked at me - I looked at her and for sure, we both "held the gaze" for longer than necessary. Then the moment was gone and we carried on with college work.
I know I would not be happier with anyone else. I have been holding hubby at arms length because of major problems with my relationship with my dad. If I met another man, the problem would still be there so on the face of it - I am likely to never feel right with any man or get remarried or what have you. I know that it would be a waste of time. The only thing for me would be to have a relationship at a distance, the way hubby and me first started off. We should have kept it that way but I never realised untill it was too late.
Yes, I need to reflect deeply on what I really want from life, thats for sure. Its not easy though is it. Up to press I have not told hubby about the fact that I have realised that I have had this barrier up since we got married. I dont know if I should tell him or not. It explains why I never miss him when he is not around etc etc. It explains why I am not bothered about spending the rest of my life with him and what have you.
I suppose hubby and I have a relationship thats on the surface only. He does not know much about me, not really. And I dont want him to. I shouldnt be married. I suppose I wish hubby would take some control of the situation but thats not him either and anyway, we have got twins to consider here. Nothing is simple in life is it?!!
So I will see this woman again over the next few days - mostly on Wednesday and Thursday. No doubt there will be butterflies in my stmach again at the thought of seeing her! I wish I could stop feeling like this - its no good for me. I am sure.
Thanks again for your post.
Best Wishes.
From Basil
Attraction?!!!
#17 Guest_Guest_Basil_*
Posted 18 January 2006 - 09:49 PM
Wednesday 18th Jan 06 21.30pm
Hi all, I have not posted at this topic for a couple of months. In that time I have told hubby whats been going on my mind (mentioned at Marriage problems) and briefly thought that things would improve as a result of a lot of the anger disolving but this has not been the case. I find my self still holding hubby at arms length.
Meanwhile, I cannot seem to stop feeling attracted to this other woman. I still say it now. It is something I have never experienced before in my life. She was with us today in college and will be there tomorrow afternoon too.
I cant describe it really. Its like when I look at her she has this sort of twinkle or sparkle in her eye that I have difficulty looking away from. I could look at this woman all day. There. I have said it and I am quite shocked.....
On a similar note, I was at the Doctors about something rather personal the other day. I had to see a male doctor which was quite embarrassing. Now he wasnt the best looking man I have ever seen but he had the "same" twinkle in his eye that this woman has got and instantly I wa attracted to him! There are doctors in that surgery that are much better looking than this one I saw the other day but I am not attracted to them, only the one with this twinkle!! Am I making sense? Although my husband is a good looking man, he doesnt have this sparkle either.
So what is it that I am really attracted to? I dont know. But I would love, if nothing else, to maybe go to the pub with this woman one night and have a good long chat. I must say that there is absolutely no thoughts of anythng physical with this woman - none what so-ever. Its more a case of just enjoying her company and seeing how she ticks. But having said that, I know that this will never happen, so why I am even thinking about it I dont know. I am a married woman of 48 years old and here I am on a website talking about things that are irrelevan and not likely to happen!!!
Enough said.
Thanks for listening.
Take Care
Shirley
Hi all, I have not posted at this topic for a couple of months. In that time I have told hubby whats been going on my mind (mentioned at Marriage problems) and briefly thought that things would improve as a result of a lot of the anger disolving but this has not been the case. I find my self still holding hubby at arms length.
Meanwhile, I cannot seem to stop feeling attracted to this other woman. I still say it now. It is something I have never experienced before in my life. She was with us today in college and will be there tomorrow afternoon too.
I cant describe it really. Its like when I look at her she has this sort of twinkle or sparkle in her eye that I have difficulty looking away from. I could look at this woman all day. There. I have said it and I am quite shocked.....
On a similar note, I was at the Doctors about something rather personal the other day. I had to see a male doctor which was quite embarrassing. Now he wasnt the best looking man I have ever seen but he had the "same" twinkle in his eye that this woman has got and instantly I wa attracted to him! There are doctors in that surgery that are much better looking than this one I saw the other day but I am not attracted to them, only the one with this twinkle!! Am I making sense? Although my husband is a good looking man, he doesnt have this sparkle either.
So what is it that I am really attracted to? I dont know. But I would love, if nothing else, to maybe go to the pub with this woman one night and have a good long chat. I must say that there is absolutely no thoughts of anythng physical with this woman - none what so-ever. Its more a case of just enjoying her company and seeing how she ticks. But having said that, I know that this will never happen, so why I am even thinking about it I dont know. I am a married woman of 48 years old and here I am on a website talking about things that are irrelevan and not likely to happen!!!
Enough said.
Thanks for listening.
Take Care
Shirley
#18 Guest_Guest_*
Posted 17 February 2006 - 03:20 PM
17th February 15.03pm
Hi all, Thought I would just say that I have still not managed to shake off this "attraction" to this other woman. She is not helping either - she always has this lovely smile when she sees me and always has something nice to say. But her smile is not like anyone elses. I may have said before, I cannot understand what is (or is not) going on here but I see a sparkle or a twinkle in her eyes that I have NEVER noticed before in a woman and I have known plenty of women over the years. After all, I am in my late 40s and have known all sorts of people over the years but nothing like this has happened before. Its quite frightening really. Anyway, I will not see her for about 10 days now as I am not in college till March 1st. But I will keep "replaying" that smile of hers and that twinkle in her eye. I feel like I must be cracking up in my "old" age!!!! Please, has anyone got any ideas as to whats going on here and how I can stop thinking of her and enjoying her "attention".
Thanks.
Shirley
Hi all, Thought I would just say that I have still not managed to shake off this "attraction" to this other woman. She is not helping either - she always has this lovely smile when she sees me and always has something nice to say. But her smile is not like anyone elses. I may have said before, I cannot understand what is (or is not) going on here but I see a sparkle or a twinkle in her eyes that I have NEVER noticed before in a woman and I have known plenty of women over the years. After all, I am in my late 40s and have known all sorts of people over the years but nothing like this has happened before. Its quite frightening really. Anyway, I will not see her for about 10 days now as I am not in college till March 1st. But I will keep "replaying" that smile of hers and that twinkle in her eye. I feel like I must be cracking up in my "old" age!!!! Please, has anyone got any ideas as to whats going on here and how I can stop thinking of her and enjoying her "attention".
Thanks.
Shirley
#19 Guest_stars2inyoureyes_*
Posted 26 February 2006 - 12:17 AM
Dear Shirley,
I can totally understand your situation... clearly. Its an absolute attraction towards that female teacher/tutor. The real things happening is that, she feels the same way towards you also, she cannot even help it. The way she gazes at you longer , tender stares, she doesn't even have to say a word about it, its very obvious.
Why not enjoy the attraction that has been building up between the two of you.
The only problem is that if you will have sex with her, without your husband knowing it. You cannot really open your heart to your family or husband if they have close perspective in that subject matter.
Better keep it to yourself, or just share it in various forums, in that way, you can vent out these feelings you have.
Be friends with her, this doesn't happen all the time to have an attraction towards the same sex.
Every women/girl... in some part of their lives were attractive to their same gender, wether they liked it or not. These types of feelings are so precious , if you think about it, this is a heavenly feelings that has been suppressed inside of us.
These feelings, most women has or will have in the future..... HAS A VERY IMPORTANT REASON DESIGNED BY GOD.... In his own due time, those who are faithful and control themselves will understand it, why its been with us, hidden from the scrutiny of society.
Some are very blatant about it and they go whatever they want .
All i can say is that ... To Everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven "
The adversary/satan.... confuses many precious things and pervert them.
These feelings are truly heavenly and tender, control them.... i mean enjoy that feelings of attraction, but dont do anything foolish.
Hope i helped someone like you.
Just keep us posted, pretty sure she feels exactly the way you do... and its really difficult. Why dont you asked her privately if she has an attraction towards you to confirm it. I know its risky, but how will you know, you can talk about it, heart to heart.
Take Care
Stars2inyoureyes
I can totally understand your situation... clearly. Its an absolute attraction towards that female teacher/tutor. The real things happening is that, she feels the same way towards you also, she cannot even help it. The way she gazes at you longer , tender stares, she doesn't even have to say a word about it, its very obvious.
Why not enjoy the attraction that has been building up between the two of you.
The only problem is that if you will have sex with her, without your husband knowing it. You cannot really open your heart to your family or husband if they have close perspective in that subject matter.
Better keep it to yourself, or just share it in various forums, in that way, you can vent out these feelings you have.
Be friends with her, this doesn't happen all the time to have an attraction towards the same sex.
Every women/girl... in some part of their lives were attractive to their same gender, wether they liked it or not. These types of feelings are so precious , if you think about it, this is a heavenly feelings that has been suppressed inside of us.
These feelings, most women has or will have in the future..... HAS A VERY IMPORTANT REASON DESIGNED BY GOD.... In his own due time, those who are faithful and control themselves will understand it, why its been with us, hidden from the scrutiny of society.
Some are very blatant about it and they go whatever they want .
All i can say is that ... To Everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven "
The adversary/satan.... confuses many precious things and pervert them.
These feelings are truly heavenly and tender, control them.... i mean enjoy that feelings of attraction, but dont do anything foolish.
Hope i helped someone like you.
Just keep us posted, pretty sure she feels exactly the way you do... and its really difficult. Why dont you asked her privately if she has an attraction towards you to confirm it. I know its risky, but how will you know, you can talk about it, heart to heart.
Take Care
Stars2inyoureyes
#20 Guest_Guest_Basil_*
Posted 27 February 2006 - 09:20 PM
9.05pm 27th Feb 06
Hi "Stars", Thanks for your message. Much appreciated. First things first though - sex is not an option. It has never even crossed my mind. I am not the slightest bit interested in sex with any woman!
All this will ever be is a friendship, nothing more. Perhaps not even that after I have completed the course in June. Once you get out of peoples ways, ie dont work with them anymore, often they dont want to know. But I will be friends with her whilst I am in college.
I agree though, it does sound like some sort of mutual "attraction" between me and her. I cannot believe though, that every woman/girl has been attractive to their same gender. I know its the first time in my life that this has happened to me. And I am 48 years old!!
I will not be asking her if she has an attraction towards me - I would not know what to say if she said yes. And whilst it appears that there is an attraction between us, we must not forget that she is married and has got two sons.
I am inclined to think that it is just one of those things that I will have to ignore and put down to experience.
Thanks again for your post.
Take Care
Shirley
Hi "Stars", Thanks for your message. Much appreciated. First things first though - sex is not an option. It has never even crossed my mind. I am not the slightest bit interested in sex with any woman!
All this will ever be is a friendship, nothing more. Perhaps not even that after I have completed the course in June. Once you get out of peoples ways, ie dont work with them anymore, often they dont want to know. But I will be friends with her whilst I am in college.
I agree though, it does sound like some sort of mutual "attraction" between me and her. I cannot believe though, that every woman/girl has been attractive to their same gender. I know its the first time in my life that this has happened to me. And I am 48 years old!!
I will not be asking her if she has an attraction towards me - I would not know what to say if she said yes. And whilst it appears that there is an attraction between us, we must not forget that she is married and has got two sons.
I am inclined to think that it is just one of those things that I will have to ignore and put down to experience.
Thanks again for your post.
Take Care
Shirley
