Hi there i could do with some advice.
My life was fairly normal until i started taking drugs. At first it was just a good laugh, but after a while i got really depressed and had strange thoughts. I started to think that i used to be in love with my best mate, which was several years ago. But i had never thought anything like that before. It got to the point where i was scared to see him or talk to him. Its really freaked me out. I was always a bit different as a child and i have started to question myself. Sometimes i have really wierd thoughts, like im really sick or evil. I cannot stand it.
Since then i have lost all of my confidence and cannot hold down a relationship. I feel like i have lost touch from reality. I look at everyone and think are they happy, do they love each other, are they secretly gay, which peron shall i be. What job shall i do so i end up like a certain person or what girl shall i be with so that she will make me a certain type of person. Its driving me nuts. Sometimes i feel like im possesed or something.
Im so tired of thinking, that i cannot do anything else. I just see the world as this infinate number of choices, all leading to unhappiness. I met a girl and i think im in love with her. But i just cannot say it to her without thinking that im lying, why is that? Sometimes when we are together i wouldnt want to be with anyone else in the world. Then we might go out and i will be sat there wishing i was with another girl. Its as though i feel really cold sometimes and just see girls as sex objects.
Its all confusing me so much. If i cannot understand why im like this im going to end up going crazy. I feel like i just dont have any happy emotions. Im stuck in the past in a big way and need to climb out of this rut before its too late. I just dont see the point in living. Whatever i have is never enough i always want something better. How can i overcome my issues and be happy with what i have?
I really am loosing my mind
HELP!
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am i normal?
#2 Guest_DC_*
Posted 04 July 2005 - 03:14 PM
Hi,
What is normal? We are all normal, for ourselves. What seems normal for one person may be very strange for another.
You said you were fairly normal until you started using drugs. Drugs will certainly make you feel very differently than you felt straight. Depending on the drugs, you may feel strange for a long time afterward, or maybe even never feel as you did before you used them. Since you can identify drug use as the basis for the change you're experiencing, consider not using them to try to regain your feeling of normality.
You say that thoughts of being in love with your best mate really freaked you out. Maybe this is an issue you need to deal with. Do you think it is wrong for you to have such feelings? This sounds like an aspect of your personality that needs exploring as it is causing you anxiety. Once you understand what is going on with your attraction to a male, maybe you will get a better idea of how you feel about women. Whatever your sexuality is, learning to accept it and regard it as normal for you will help.
The world is an infinite number of choices. Sometimes we don't find out till long after we've made a choice whether or not it was the right one for us. Sometimes what seemed right at the time turns out to have been very wrong, and vice versa. We do have to continue to make choices to live. But there is no reason to rush to decisions without weighing all the options and trying to determine which choices are the best fit for you.
I think you will be happy with what you have when you are happy with yourself. You say you are very confused right now and are having thoughts that disturb you and don't see the point in living. It may be very good for you to seek some sort of therapy to work through the issues you are facing.
Good luck and let us know how things are going with you, D.
What is normal? We are all normal, for ourselves. What seems normal for one person may be very strange for another.
You said you were fairly normal until you started using drugs. Drugs will certainly make you feel very differently than you felt straight. Depending on the drugs, you may feel strange for a long time afterward, or maybe even never feel as you did before you used them. Since you can identify drug use as the basis for the change you're experiencing, consider not using them to try to regain your feeling of normality.
You say that thoughts of being in love with your best mate really freaked you out. Maybe this is an issue you need to deal with. Do you think it is wrong for you to have such feelings? This sounds like an aspect of your personality that needs exploring as it is causing you anxiety. Once you understand what is going on with your attraction to a male, maybe you will get a better idea of how you feel about women. Whatever your sexuality is, learning to accept it and regard it as normal for you will help.
The world is an infinite number of choices. Sometimes we don't find out till long after we've made a choice whether or not it was the right one for us. Sometimes what seemed right at the time turns out to have been very wrong, and vice versa. We do have to continue to make choices to live. But there is no reason to rush to decisions without weighing all the options and trying to determine which choices are the best fit for you.
I think you will be happy with what you have when you are happy with yourself. You say you are very confused right now and are having thoughts that disturb you and don't see the point in living. It may be very good for you to seek some sort of therapy to work through the issues you are facing.
Good luck and let us know how things are going with you, D.
#3
Earth-Born 
- Member
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- Group: Members
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- Joined: 20-June 05
Posted 10 July 2005 - 03:45 PM
Hello there,
I'm sorry to hear that you are in this mental turmoil. You know, you say there are loads of choices and they all lead to unhappiness (- helpless feelings), but the best thing you could change is to get off drugs and avoiding people who take them if possible. I find that if I am feeling a certain way I am likely to start thinking that way too. It is not always the other way round. I know someone with a drinks problem and he is always pessimistic and feels "hopeless", not approaching life in a way that suggests he feels he has any control. Feeding your body with alcohol or drugs has a direct effect on how positive you can actually be. It is damaging in the long run, but also in the short term will prevent you from getting the most out of life, finding new oportuities and having pleasant relationships.
Unless you pack in the drugs, any advice to you on healthy relationships is lost. I am not a qualified health professional, but I am a bit crazy myself, and you have indicated that you are feeling emotionally odd (in your reactions and perceptions of yourself) and having thoughts that do not feel are quite right. You do not have to try and explain those things. If they don't feel right, they probably aren't what you are used to and could indicate that the drugs are doing no good for your mental health.
For goodness sake, get off the nasty stuff. Mental problems ruin people's health and their families. It's not worth the risk.
I'm sorry to hear that you are in this mental turmoil. You know, you say there are loads of choices and they all lead to unhappiness (- helpless feelings), but the best thing you could change is to get off drugs and avoiding people who take them if possible. I find that if I am feeling a certain way I am likely to start thinking that way too. It is not always the other way round. I know someone with a drinks problem and he is always pessimistic and feels "hopeless", not approaching life in a way that suggests he feels he has any control. Feeding your body with alcohol or drugs has a direct effect on how positive you can actually be. It is damaging in the long run, but also in the short term will prevent you from getting the most out of life, finding new oportuities and having pleasant relationships.
Unless you pack in the drugs, any advice to you on healthy relationships is lost. I am not a qualified health professional, but I am a bit crazy myself, and you have indicated that you are feeling emotionally odd (in your reactions and perceptions of yourself) and having thoughts that do not feel are quite right. You do not have to try and explain those things. If they don't feel right, they probably aren't what you are used to and could indicate that the drugs are doing no good for your mental health.
For goodness sake, get off the nasty stuff. Mental problems ruin people's health and their families. It's not worth the risk.
#4 Guest_sos_*
Posted 11 July 2005 - 06:13 PM
Hi there, thanks for the response.
I stopped taking drugs almost two years ago and for the a long long time i dont even drink anymore. But i still feel so low and negative. Im still stuck in the past and analysing my life. I just cannot seem to move on, no matter how hard i try. Somedays i feel ok, but mostly i dont. I cannot get a job because i feel so insecure and i even have difficulty talking to people. I feel like im the only person in the world and have been crying almost everday for over 6 months.
There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. Im very messed up and confused but im a stong person and know that i will overcome this. I've been to uni and backpaking for a long time, which i think has really unsettled me. I know i need to get some roots and start fighting for what i want. But i would like some advice.
Are there any tests that the doctors can do to figure out why im so low and tired. Are anti depressents worth taking or are they going to make me worse in the long run?
I think it would help me to go and see someone. What type of person is best... a phycotherapist etc
Many thanks
I stopped taking drugs almost two years ago and for the a long long time i dont even drink anymore. But i still feel so low and negative. Im still stuck in the past and analysing my life. I just cannot seem to move on, no matter how hard i try. Somedays i feel ok, but mostly i dont. I cannot get a job because i feel so insecure and i even have difficulty talking to people. I feel like im the only person in the world and have been crying almost everday for over 6 months.
There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. Im very messed up and confused but im a stong person and know that i will overcome this. I've been to uni and backpaking for a long time, which i think has really unsettled me. I know i need to get some roots and start fighting for what i want. But i would like some advice.
Are there any tests that the doctors can do to figure out why im so low and tired. Are anti depressents worth taking or are they going to make me worse in the long run?
I think it would help me to go and see someone. What type of person is best... a phycotherapist etc
Many thanks
#5 Guest_DC_*
Posted 12 July 2005 - 01:48 AM
Hi Again,
I'm glad that you responded, I was wondering how you were doing. Its great that you are not using drugs or alcohol.
It sounds to me as though you are going through some sort of crisis and therapy could certainly help you. There must be social services programs in your area that you can contact for a referral. Antidepressives may be helpful for you, but I think you are struggling with issues that need to be resolved before you feel better.
Have you any friends or relatives you can confide in who can give you some support? It would help you to not feel so all alone. There are people here at this forum who care about you, if there is no one else.
Best wishes, D.
I'm glad that you responded, I was wondering how you were doing. Its great that you are not using drugs or alcohol.
It sounds to me as though you are going through some sort of crisis and therapy could certainly help you. There must be social services programs in your area that you can contact for a referral. Antidepressives may be helpful for you, but I think you are struggling with issues that need to be resolved before you feel better.
Have you any friends or relatives you can confide in who can give you some support? It would help you to not feel so all alone. There are people here at this forum who care about you, if there is no one else.
Best wishes, D.
#6 Guest_sos_*
Posted 12 July 2005 - 09:04 AM
Hi there,
I have spoken to my family and friends about everything. They all have been really helpful. But i still feel really low. Most of the problem is that i just dont know what i want to do with my life. Which im sure most people feel.
However, when i met my last girlfriend she made me realise so much. For the first time in so many years i realised that i just dont believe in myself. She made me feel so amazing, i dont think i have ever felt that happy in my entire life. But i was unhappy and told her that i need to tidy my l,ife and feel happy with myself before i can be with someone else. So we broke up, i still regret it but i couldnt see any other option, as she lives overseas.
I realise now that all of my life i have never believed in myself and thats why im so confused and dont know who i am anymore. But i just dont know how to believe in myself and be happy without her. I cannot seem to move on.
I dont know where i want to live or anything. If i could just be happy enough to be sure of what i want everything would be ok. I felt like i could change the world when we were together, now i just feel like im worthless. But as stupid as it sounds i cannot get back with her because i dont know if i want her or if i love her. I feel like i lost my spark, years ago, with her i got it back and now its gone again.
Thanks
I have spoken to my family and friends about everything. They all have been really helpful. But i still feel really low. Most of the problem is that i just dont know what i want to do with my life. Which im sure most people feel.
However, when i met my last girlfriend she made me realise so much. For the first time in so many years i realised that i just dont believe in myself. She made me feel so amazing, i dont think i have ever felt that happy in my entire life. But i was unhappy and told her that i need to tidy my l,ife and feel happy with myself before i can be with someone else. So we broke up, i still regret it but i couldnt see any other option, as she lives overseas.
I realise now that all of my life i have never believed in myself and thats why im so confused and dont know who i am anymore. But i just dont know how to believe in myself and be happy without her. I cannot seem to move on.
I dont know where i want to live or anything. If i could just be happy enough to be sure of what i want everything would be ok. I felt like i could change the world when we were together, now i just feel like im worthless. But as stupid as it sounds i cannot get back with her because i dont know if i want her or if i love her. I feel like i lost my spark, years ago, with her i got it back and now its gone again.
Thanks
#7
Earth-Born
- Member
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- Group: Members
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- Joined: 20-June 05
Posted 16 July 2005 - 06:32 PM
Hello there. You have really bared your soul. Rather than tell you to see someone (which of course would be positive providing they were a good therapist for you) I really would like to congratulate you on holding on in there. Even if you feel bad/low, you got of the drugs and that matters. You have done well for yourself. Getting off those drugs was more than anyone else could have done for you. You also got yourself into activities and study? Good on you. You have done the best for yourself, don't instantly blame yourself for feeling low. Not everything in this world is your fault. You don't have to save it. If you can save yourself, or help someone else to that is more than enough.
Although I enjoy an actively thoughtful life, I think it is true to say that ones thoughts (especially negative ones about oneself) can spiral out of control if like is not stimulating a person enough.
Without forcing yourself unnecessarily hard or causing yourself a burnout, I would recommend involving yourself in a variety of new activities for a trial period. Don't expect it to lift you out of depression. This is as much about learning to apply yourself as much as anything. It's a good idea because it can help you to create a healthy attitude towards yourself and focus on what you are doing than what you aren't doing. No one can do or be everything.
Money helps when taking up new hobbies, but I would guess that in most towns in the UK there are free activities organised by local councils that might offer you some inspiration.
While you practise things you might be able to think over the direction of your life and your relationship choices with a clearer mind, more space, whilst not making them the main focus and getting too worried about them.
Don't exhaust yourself, but find ways of involving yourself in quiet activity on a regular basis. Provide yourself with an outlet and you may be surprised where your new hobbies take you.
Although I enjoy an actively thoughtful life, I think it is true to say that ones thoughts (especially negative ones about oneself) can spiral out of control if like is not stimulating a person enough.
Without forcing yourself unnecessarily hard or causing yourself a burnout, I would recommend involving yourself in a variety of new activities for a trial period. Don't expect it to lift you out of depression. This is as much about learning to apply yourself as much as anything. It's a good idea because it can help you to create a healthy attitude towards yourself and focus on what you are doing than what you aren't doing. No one can do or be everything.
Money helps when taking up new hobbies, but I would guess that in most towns in the UK there are free activities organised by local councils that might offer you some inspiration.
While you practise things you might be able to think over the direction of your life and your relationship choices with a clearer mind, more space, whilst not making them the main focus and getting too worried about them.
Don't exhaust yourself, but find ways of involving yourself in quiet activity on a regular basis. Provide yourself with an outlet and you may be surprised where your new hobbies take you.
#8 Guest_sos_*
Posted 17 July 2005 - 02:51 PM
Thankyou for your responses.
I have been to the doctors and he has put me on antidepressents to see if they will help lift me. I will also be going to see a councillor shortly.
Im starting to feel much more positive.
Many thanks for everything
I have been to the doctors and he has put me on antidepressents to see if they will help lift me. I will also be going to see a councillor shortly.
Im starting to feel much more positive.
Many thanks for everything
#9 Guest_DC_*
Posted 17 July 2005 - 09:24 PM
Hi,
I'm glad things are looking up for you. Just a thought-maybe you really love the girl and that has something to do with your depression. I've been struggling for a long time since I had to say good bye to someone I love.
Another thought-having a job can help you to feel productive and worthwhile, I know it may be hard to inter-relate with people when you feel miserable but it also helps to have something else to focus on.
Sending you wishes for happiness-D.
I'm glad things are looking up for you. Just a thought-maybe you really love the girl and that has something to do with your depression. I've been struggling for a long time since I had to say good bye to someone I love.
Another thought-having a job can help you to feel productive and worthwhile, I know it may be hard to inter-relate with people when you feel miserable but it also helps to have something else to focus on.
Sending you wishes for happiness-D.
#10 Guest_sos_*
Posted 13 August 2005 - 05:11 PM
Hi there!
I just wanted to check in and thankyou for your advice. Its been just over a month since i started my thread and im feeling much better. The anti-depressents seem to have lifted me a little bit and im feeling much more positive. I have just got myself a new job and have been going swimming before work everyday. Im a member of the local gym and go several times each week. I've cut down on smoking cigarrets and im trying to eat healthy food. I've even started to play badminton with some friends.
Im in contact with my ex-girlfriend and we have agreed to meet sometime in the next month or so to see how we feel. So, things are going much better for me. However, now i feel like im just a "normal" person and i was never really depressed.... is this something that happens when you start to come out of it? I still have really low moments and even still dont feel like i know who i am. But im starting to feel much more positive. I have not yet seen a counsellor as im still on the nhs list.
Looking back i feel so confused about why i went through all of this. Whilst i was with my last girlfriend i was so happy that i just cannot even explain. I felt like i could do anything. Since she has left i have been through so much and analysed all of my life. Do you think its a good idea for us to meet or am i just going to put myself through all of this distress again?
Thanks for any advice
I just wanted to check in and thankyou for your advice. Its been just over a month since i started my thread and im feeling much better. The anti-depressents seem to have lifted me a little bit and im feeling much more positive. I have just got myself a new job and have been going swimming before work everyday. Im a member of the local gym and go several times each week. I've cut down on smoking cigarrets and im trying to eat healthy food. I've even started to play badminton with some friends.
Im in contact with my ex-girlfriend and we have agreed to meet sometime in the next month or so to see how we feel. So, things are going much better for me. However, now i feel like im just a "normal" person and i was never really depressed.... is this something that happens when you start to come out of it? I still have really low moments and even still dont feel like i know who i am. But im starting to feel much more positive. I have not yet seen a counsellor as im still on the nhs list.
Looking back i feel so confused about why i went through all of this. Whilst i was with my last girlfriend i was so happy that i just cannot even explain. I felt like i could do anything. Since she has left i have been through so much and analysed all of my life. Do you think its a good idea for us to meet or am i just going to put myself through all of this distress again?
Thanks for any advice
#11 Guest_DC_*
Posted 14 August 2005 - 11:08 PM
Hi,
I'm glad things are going better for you. You said in your first post that you met a girl and thought you were in love with her. Then you went on to say, essentially, that you weren't sure. If this is the same girl, why not give it a chance? I definitely don't think you should rush into anything including trying to decide if you're in love. Just spend time with her, get to know her really well and see how your feelings grow.
You said that being with her made you feel very happy and you didn't know how to be happy without her. I'm sure you've heard this before but I really believe that happiness comes from within. Happiness is achieved through loving ourselves and through the joy gained by our accomplishments. Having someone to share that happiness just amplifies it. Depending on someone else for happiness can seem alot like an addiction.
You have taken some big steps to gain confidence in yourself and to discover who you are and what you want. Keep on with that and see how the girl you care about fits in to what you are doing without making her the total focus of your energies.
I hope things work out for you, best of luck. DC
I'm glad things are going better for you. You said in your first post that you met a girl and thought you were in love with her. Then you went on to say, essentially, that you weren't sure. If this is the same girl, why not give it a chance? I definitely don't think you should rush into anything including trying to decide if you're in love. Just spend time with her, get to know her really well and see how your feelings grow.
You said that being with her made you feel very happy and you didn't know how to be happy without her. I'm sure you've heard this before but I really believe that happiness comes from within. Happiness is achieved through loving ourselves and through the joy gained by our accomplishments. Having someone to share that happiness just amplifies it. Depending on someone else for happiness can seem alot like an addiction.
You have taken some big steps to gain confidence in yourself and to discover who you are and what you want. Keep on with that and see how the girl you care about fits in to what you are doing without making her the total focus of your energies.
I hope things work out for you, best of luck. DC
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