[tim1974]

I am 31 and when I was 21 I was run over. Because of this I have facial scars which are not as visible now but i notice them, also in the same year (six months after this) I lost my father (he was only 50), it was a real shock as we never really knew the reason why he died (we think he was stung and had anaphalactic shock). Ever since i just don't seem to be able to deal with things as well as i could, i drink too much, i don't like me as i treat women like sex objects and lack self esteem, i also have put lots of weight on. i am in a job i don't enjoy and my friends walk all over me cos i can't stand upto them, i try and put a facade on that i'm a bubbly happy person and it seems to work but i'm not happy inside at all. i don't feel depressed but just want to understand why i am like this and how i get out of this downward spiral. i have such a bad reputation in my local town of been a womanising drunkard i can't shake it, but thats not the real me. i am thinking of moving away and starting again but that is like running away from things.
i always worry what people think of me. where can i go for help and do i need to speak to a berevement councillor or someone who knows about the mental scars of physical scars.

Help!

[skyblue22]

Well done for posting here, your therapy has begun!

If u want 2 try counselling, ask yr GP what they can offer: it's free thro the NHS, but the waiting lists are LONG. I waited nearly 2 years, but I'm seeing s.o. good now, she does Solution-Focused Therapy which I like.

Learn abt diff types of counselling, then go for one that appeals, if u can afford 2 pay you can get started straight away.
Let us know how you are,
All the best,
Skyblue22

[tim1974]

i think talking to someone would help, i can't really talk to anyone as i'm scared of what would come out once i do start..........................

how much is the councelling?

thanks

[superdragon]

Depends, some therapists charge on a sliding scale, for free or whatever they charge, just keep on looking.

[Gareth]

Hello Tim,

I would definitely think that some counselling or psychotherapy could help you. You will be really surprised at the difference just talking to someone can make - it is an accumulative thing - the more you talk, the better you feel, and the more able you are to really tackle your problems.

The first place to go is to your doctor's - they may be able to set you up with something almost straight away, or there may be a wait.

[tim1974]

Just an update to this, alot has happened. i have realised what my main issues were through looking very deeply in myslef and talking to some top friends. It is amazing what a good friends network can do for you.
i have managed to lose 2 stone in weight and that has just raised me out of my slump, i have large debts still but i now realise what is important in life, i have dumped all the idiot firends. now treat people the way i should do so and feel so proud of knowing my dad. its very empowering facing upto your demons, its been a very hard two years but i feel i'm overe the main part of it.
this forum has helped me so much, all the case studies and ideas just make you think.
I know ME know and thats amazing.
thank you one and all.