[Leeannehinge]

I'm not sure where to start but at the moment I've got a lot of thoughts buzzing round my head. I'm in my second year of uni. Last year I had the most amazing time and made lots of excellent friendships. I was on a complete high all the time. This year, through my being loyal to a friend who really didn't deserve it, I'm living in a house with friends of a friend. I haven't clicked with them and always miss being around my best friends. I still see these friends but I just don't seem to be able to get over the disappointment of not being around them all the time.
Also, for a whole year now, I've had really intense feelings for a same sex friend. The fact that I have these feelings doesn't bother me; I'm not ashamed, but I really don't know whether to say anything. I act really weirdly around her and give her the impression that I don't think that much of her at all. I want to be able to relax in her company but because I see her less this year, I think about it more and then don't be myself around her. We used to flirt all the time, but she's very flirty in general. Some things have given me the impression that she thinks of me as more than a friend, but I could never be sure. She might feel really awkward if I tell her, but I don't want to tell anyone other than her. So that's my situation in a nutsehell. I'd be grateful for any words of wisdom!

[Benjamin Fry]

Thatís a difficult problem for many people your age regardless of their sexual orientation. Iím not clear though whether you are ìoutî or not, in which case this could be extra difficult.

Generally Iíd say that the received wisdom is that not going for it is worse than doing so. If you share your feelings then you may get what you want, but you might also be embarrassed. If it is the latter then at least you get over worrying about it and perhaps can move on. If you never say a word, then think how you might feel if next time you see this woman she introduces you to her stunning new girlfriend.

Usually people with a secret love are glad in retrospect that they got it off their chest. It can sometimes be difficult at the time, but with hindsight it seems like the only sensible way to behave. Donít be afraid of loving feelings. They are what makes life wonderful.