[despneedofhelp]

we got together a year ago this month, but we've known each other 5 yrs. now we're having a baby in july and he tells me that he still wants to live together because i'm out of work, but we need to go our separate ways. we're now sleeping in separate rooms. he says it's all because since i got pregnant my whole everything has changed. he tells me i'm psycho, he calls me everything in the book, and says he's ashamed of me.

i love him more than anything and have already tried to work things out. this is my second child so you'd think i wouldn't be such a baby about what he wants.

what should i do?

[Benjamin Fry]

You need to think of the baby you are carrying and your existing child. Can you determine what would be best for them? If it is to stay with this man, then perhaps you can suggest the possibility of some couple counselling? This could be available from your midwife services.

Pregnancy and birth are very stressful times in relationships. Women change and men donít like it. However the changes are temporary. If this is his first time, then he doesnít know this yet. A year from now, you should be back to your old self. He may then realise that the situation was not as threatening as it now seems to him. Some counselling could help you both understand what is really happening and how you can best both think about the future from the point of view of your joint responsibilities towards the child that you carry.