I am a healthy 23 year old female who has been suffering from anxiety on and off for about two years now. I am usually able to cope with the symptoms but of late i've had the fear of god put into me. Let me explain, I had a very bad panic attack last week which consisted of the usual tight chest, palpatations etc etc, but this then triggered a brand new anxiety when I paniced that I would stop breathing. Since then I can't stop thinking that unless I am concious of my breathing then it will just stop and I will suffocate. The rational part of my brain knows full well that this isn't going to happen, but the overwhelming irrational part will not let this thought go. I am well aware that this little problem of mine sounds completely mad BUT it won't go away. Any suggestions anyone???
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I think i'm going mad!
#3
Benjamin Fry 
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Posted 11 June 2004 - 04:27 PM
I've suffered from panic attacks and anxiety and I think I can relate very closely to what you're describing. Something that is quite hard to explain to people who have never experienced these things is the fear of the fear. After many years of suffering from anxiety sometimes it is hard to distinguish the fear of the fear from the fear itself. And in fact in my case, I only really knew that I was getting better when I would do things that I was afraid of only to discover that I wasn't now afraid of them at all. I had been experiencing the fear of the fear that I no longer had.
It seems that you are very deeply engaged with the fear of the fear right now. As you say, the rational part of your brain knows that you won't stop breathing, but the fear persists.
Now I'm going to tell you something that may seem very odd. The fear that you are experiencing is very useful to you. That is why you are so keen on experiencing it. I don't mean that you are consciously aware of this, but rather that your unconscious mind is helping you to relate to your experiences in such a way as to manufacture for you as much of the feeling of fear as seems safe given your overall circumstances in life. I would speculate that you been able to cope with the symptoms previously because the alternative of not coping with the symptoms would have been overwhelming. Perhaps recently you found yourself in some sense in a more secure position in life and so these feelings have had an opportunity to raise their ugly head once again.
The fear that you are experiencing that seemed to you to be irrational is in fact fear that has been stored in your mind and body from some previous experience. It only appears to your conscious mind to be irrational because you do not understand the connection with that previous experience. That previous experience is lost to your conscious memory and awareness because it was cloaked in trauma, the mechanism that has repressed these emotions in the first place.
For me the route out of the fear of the fear was to develop my conscious understanding of this process. Once I understood that the fear came from a logical process that I can understand I became much less afraid of it. And once I became less afraid of it, it was easier to allow the emotion to be experienced by me, which is all that I was trying to do in the first place. After six months of this kind of mental practice of reminding myself that it really was no big deal that I was feeling terrible, the fear itself began to fade and pass away.
I can't be sure what will do the trick for you, but anything that helps your rational understanding of what is happening to you will make you less afraid of it. Consider the example of an illusionist: when you see a magic trick it might freak you out, but when you see the secrets behind that same magic trick and then re-experienced the magic trick your emotional reaction to it will be much, much more commonplace. To understand the secrets behind the illusion of panic attacks, you need only to understand the mind-body systemís delayed reaction to emotions that have been frozen by trauma.
If you can separate the conscious mind from the experiences of your emotions within your body then you can use the conscious mind simply to observe and comment on these emotions. It is only by achieving this separation that you can stop the conscious mind interfering in the natural process of the body evacuating its traumatised frozen feelings.
In other words, instead of feeling the fear of fear, feel the fear and enjoy every minute of it, because on the other side of the fear lies a whole new you. Good luck with it.
It seems that you are very deeply engaged with the fear of the fear right now. As you say, the rational part of your brain knows that you won't stop breathing, but the fear persists.
Now I'm going to tell you something that may seem very odd. The fear that you are experiencing is very useful to you. That is why you are so keen on experiencing it. I don't mean that you are consciously aware of this, but rather that your unconscious mind is helping you to relate to your experiences in such a way as to manufacture for you as much of the feeling of fear as seems safe given your overall circumstances in life. I would speculate that you been able to cope with the symptoms previously because the alternative of not coping with the symptoms would have been overwhelming. Perhaps recently you found yourself in some sense in a more secure position in life and so these feelings have had an opportunity to raise their ugly head once again.
The fear that you are experiencing that seemed to you to be irrational is in fact fear that has been stored in your mind and body from some previous experience. It only appears to your conscious mind to be irrational because you do not understand the connection with that previous experience. That previous experience is lost to your conscious memory and awareness because it was cloaked in trauma, the mechanism that has repressed these emotions in the first place.
For me the route out of the fear of the fear was to develop my conscious understanding of this process. Once I understood that the fear came from a logical process that I can understand I became much less afraid of it. And once I became less afraid of it, it was easier to allow the emotion to be experienced by me, which is all that I was trying to do in the first place. After six months of this kind of mental practice of reminding myself that it really was no big deal that I was feeling terrible, the fear itself began to fade and pass away.
I can't be sure what will do the trick for you, but anything that helps your rational understanding of what is happening to you will make you less afraid of it. Consider the example of an illusionist: when you see a magic trick it might freak you out, but when you see the secrets behind that same magic trick and then re-experienced the magic trick your emotional reaction to it will be much, much more commonplace. To understand the secrets behind the illusion of panic attacks, you need only to understand the mind-body systemís delayed reaction to emotions that have been frozen by trauma.
If you can separate the conscious mind from the experiences of your emotions within your body then you can use the conscious mind simply to observe and comment on these emotions. It is only by achieving this separation that you can stop the conscious mind interfering in the natural process of the body evacuating its traumatised frozen feelings.
In other words, instead of feeling the fear of fear, feel the fear and enjoy every minute of it, because on the other side of the fear lies a whole new you. Good luck with it.
visit benjaminfry.co.uk for more information on my work
support getstable.org for better mental health treatment in the UK
support getstable.org for better mental health treatment in the UK
#4 Guest_ak_*
Posted 11 June 2004 - 05:58 PM
Hi
I can so relate to what you are experiencing, I am having the exact same problem as you, even though you know you wont stop breathing it hits you so hard anyway. I nearly laughed when you said "a new anxiety" thats exactly what I called it when it happened to me. I was used to my usual anxiety and mine came along when I read about panic attacks and the book said "some people become convinced that they will stop breathing when they are having a panic attack" and along came my new anxiety. The best thing I can think of to tell you is that when it happens just to look at your breathing really feel it inside of yourself and notice that you are still breathing and will keep on breathing! I know its hard but I found the best thing was after the feeling had passed that if I thought to myself well you didn't stop breathing, then the next time it happened I just thought well you didn't stop breathing last time, why would you now? I know it probably just sounds like rubbish but it really helped me, just remember there is no way in the world a panic attack can ever stop you breathing, your body is a hell of a lot stronger than you think it is, alot stronger than your mind. Another thing that helped is thinking that I cant make my body do anything else its not programmed to, why do I think I can stop myself breathing. I know your probably scared, so am I but you really are stronger than you think you are. Its always darkest just before dawn!! Good luck
a
I can so relate to what you are experiencing, I am having the exact same problem as you, even though you know you wont stop breathing it hits you so hard anyway. I nearly laughed when you said "a new anxiety" thats exactly what I called it when it happened to me. I was used to my usual anxiety and mine came along when I read about panic attacks and the book said "some people become convinced that they will stop breathing when they are having a panic attack" and along came my new anxiety. The best thing I can think of to tell you is that when it happens just to look at your breathing really feel it inside of yourself and notice that you are still breathing and will keep on breathing! I know its hard but I found the best thing was after the feeling had passed that if I thought to myself well you didn't stop breathing, then the next time it happened I just thought well you didn't stop breathing last time, why would you now? I know it probably just sounds like rubbish but it really helped me, just remember there is no way in the world a panic attack can ever stop you breathing, your body is a hell of a lot stronger than you think it is, alot stronger than your mind. Another thing that helped is thinking that I cant make my body do anything else its not programmed to, why do I think I can stop myself breathing. I know your probably scared, so am I but you really are stronger than you think you are. Its always darkest just before dawn!! Good luck
a
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