[Soccer8]

[FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][COLOR=blue]Hello.....i am a 17 year old female who lives in a town called Diamond Bar, which is located in California. I am a Junior in high school and have experienced many things. Now every since i was little my parents have always loved me as any normal parents should, however i knew that i was not loved as much as my other 2 sisters. My other 2 sisters who are now the oldest 23, married with a baby girl and another kid on the way. My other sister who is 18 and going to cal poly pomona and in love with her boyfriend of 2 years. So anywho.....ever since i was little i always felt a little out of the picture with my family. I always felt like i was being left behind. My family did actually leave me behind on a couple of family trips. so anyway, i always felt out of the picture.

So once i hit High school i figured okay my sister and go to the same school i will have a little bit more freedom this will be great. That was the complete opposite. When i was a freshman in high school i smoked weed for the first time. Now my sister the 18 year old told my parents that i did and ever since then i have not been trusted. My parents just cant get over that. I know me doing weed and everything is stupid however they couldnt get over that it has been almost 3 years since that happened and they have not completely trusted me yet. So this year my junior year of high school i started hanging out with people that go out and party and get wasted on a regular weekend bases. So i started doing that. i would tell my parents that i was going to someones house and then stay the night there and then drink and smoke. Well it was going good until just a few weekends ago. My parents dont like me hanging out with this one girl(we will call her tiffany) so anyway my parents dont really like tiffany cause she was the one i first smoked weed with. I figured by my junior or sophmore year she would get over it. but she hasn't. So anyway tiffany and i always hang out we just snuck around. However just a few nights ago i said that i was going to a friends house however that friend never called me back so me and tiffany drove around looking for something to do and my mother called me and said she was going to pick me up at my frien ashleys house because she didnt like the fact that i said that i wasnt at that one friends house and then at ashleys house. However the reason why i told my mom that i was at ashley's house was because i know she would get mad if she found out that we went to Jack in the box and rite aid for ice cream. she gets mad over the smallest things. So i told her that and she went to ashleys house to pick me up and my mom asked me why i still hang out with tiffany is because she is always there for me for when times i hate my mom.

I know i shouldnt hate my mom but i do. She doesnt trust me. I know my life doenst seem that bad but it is. My mom has a drinking problem....and my dad did have one but he got help. However whenever my mom gets drunk she always says stupid things...saying that i will never do well in life and i will die alone and sad and that i am the worst thing that happened to this family and i am disappointment to them and that i should have never been born and that i was a mistake. Now if you should tell me that i shouldnt hate my mom because of that then there is something wrong because sometimes she says that when she is sober. I just cant stand her anymore. I wish that i could just run away or something.

I have played socer for 12 years now and she used to come to ever single one of my games. however about 7 years ago she got a new job as a manager of an office building and since then she would never make it too my games. And if she did then she would sit in the car and read. It would make me so unhappy. I hate not having a mother there who wont support me or wont listen to me when i talk or have a problem. Like this year my sister (the 18 year old) started to play soccer again and my parents were just so happy that my mom started to come to ever single game and she didnt sit in the car and read at the games. She is actually sitting ther cheering her on. She doenst cheer me on she cheers her on. I just dont understand. Am i really that big of a disappointment? Please help me


I really need it.....just a few months ago i slit my wrist just for the pain to get ride of all the pain that i was feeling to my family and problems at home and i am about to start it up now.PLEASE ANYONE HELP ME!

[skyblue22]

So sorry you've been through so much. Have you tried Al-Anon, who help relatives of people with a drink problem. Well done for looking for help while you're so young. Time goes quickly, and you've got a lot of things to learn and do in your life.
Take care

[Benjamin Fry]

It is a tough situation when you are living with the people who are driving you nuts. The reality for many young adults is that they are dependant on their parents, but their parents do not treat them with the respect and dignity that they deserve. There is no way out and this has a terrible effect on your emotional and mental health.

You need to find a way to take care of yourself outside of the family home. I strongly recommend that you talk to a counsellor at your school. There are there to deal with exactly these kinds of problems and can offer you complete confidentiality.

Al-anon is also another great idea. Perhaps if your father has done some work on his drinking issues, he can help you with this?

Ultimately you need to find an emotional space where you can let go of all of this pain. That may be hard to get while you live at home. Certainly Iíd like to validate that you are as worthwhile a person as anyone else on this planet and if your mother canít see that, then this really is her problem. Trouble is she has made it yours. Some counselling may help you to discover some inner-strength to begin to give that problem back to her. However you really need to ask for help in person from a qualified adult. Please don't assume that all adults will let you down in the way that your mother has done.