[wondering]

Hi all i just found this sight as i was looking for someone to talk to about realtionship issues . I met this lady on a web sight ans we live close to each other so we met and really like each other but before that as we where chatting on msn she said she had been along for 18 years was ready to find the right guy so it took it as that . we started dating and all was good till about three weeks into it and as we where driving her phone wrang and she was so sweet to this person . then we went for lunch and she told me she wonted to be honest with me she said the last four years she has been dating and had two relationships one for one year and one for three i felt that she lied to me even though she was telling me all of this then she said that she is friend with her x that all teh time she was datiing him he was married she knew that . she knew i was really upset wiht all of this but i didnt say much just took her home them we chatted on msn i told he i felt it hard to trust her . so we didnt see each other for awile then we went out to talk we started see each other a little then one night she was so cold to me i as y and got nothing we chatted on the net again she said that she had been talking to another x and he told he i was out to hert her and make her distant her family that was never true so i told her nevr mind to go on her way . i cant undrstand her we have talked and are seeing each other now as she is really nice and i see she can be a really nice woman but now she never calles me or contacts me unless i do it first she is really hesant about me meeting her family mostly her doughter that she babies like no tomorrow. my doughter feeles like she doesnt like her because she doesent wont our kids in the picture they are bout 18 now i dont get it .I hope sone one can talk to me about this that would be so great . i am a great person honest and kind and loving i think she know this ??? everyone else that i know does .alls o she said after awile that she hadent talked to the Xs since we talked about it as she knew i didnt like that but she didnt tell me that at the time . she said that she didnt think it was nessary as long as she did it . i i kinda think she still is she is but thats a trust thing anyway take care and i hopoe to hear fron you thaks so much phil.

[Benjamin Fry]

I think that the issue you need to consider is why you are making yourself available for a relationship with someone who isnít reciprocating? Clearly your lady friend likes to have her cake and eat it. You are just one of the options she has on the go. Thereís nothing you can do about her, but you can look at why you are attracted to someone like this.

It is possible that in your previous relationships you have been the accommodating one. This might be a pattern that was set up in your own family in childhood. If you want to advance your adult relationships you will need to look at where this pattern started, with who, and what you now want to do about it. If you address the root cause with some emotional courage then your relationships in the present will automatically change, and the way people relate to you will improve.