[carly]

i have a problem thats been with me for as long as i know,its not a big problem but every time i think about it it confuses me. my problem is whenever i like someone i really like them and if they start to like me then i go off them immediately,so when they back off i suddenly start likeing them again its horible as i dont have any reason for me to feel this way towards anyone. what do you think is wrong with me?

[Benjamin Fry]

Doctor Doolittle has an animal called a push-me pull-you. I think you might speak its language.

Liking someone is the easy bit. Your issue is that when someone you like, likes you then you get spooked. Itís not that you stop liking them, since you notice when they go away you like them again. The issue is the possibility of things going to another stage further where there would actually be some kind of relationship.

Broadly speaking you are displaying a commitment phobia. This is usually about the projected fear of loss. If you like them, and they like you, then there is something valuable to be had there. If there is something valuable, then there is something to loose.

I would guess that in your childhood or history there is an example of something valuable getting lost. If so, then this would make you freak out when you are about to have something like that for yourself. You need to find out what it was in your life that made you so scared of having a relationship. Then if you address that more head on, you should find new relationships in the present less difficult.