Benjamin Fry | Forum: Insecurity - Benjamin Fry | Forum

Hi, I need some help quite quickly with this issue.

I have just come out of a relationship, and all the way through I was insecure, I couldn't understand why I was, but it got to a position where I trawled all the way through her computer for chat logs, and constantly checking her phone for number and messages. This came to a head about 4 weeks ago, when I dragged the whole family into our arguement, just because I felt insecure. This made the girl decide she could not trust me, and the relationship has ended. Before this relationship I was married for three years and at the start I was very close to my ex wife, but then at the end there was no interest in each other at all. I can't understand why I have this insecurity, and I don't want it to effect my next relationship. The second part of the problem is that I had been setting up a house to move into for the past three weeks, because I felt we weren't going anyway,but i couldn't leave her, she now has made that move, and it hurts so much, I can't help feeling hurt, and I miss her, I miss holding her and being with her.

Please someone help.

Paul

Do you mean insecurity, or do you mean jealousy?

Did you "trawl through" your first wife's email and phone calls also?

How did you manage to drag your whole family into your personal relationship issues? And why?

If you still want this girl back in your life, have a go at asking her to talk to you again. Maybe you could be honest about the feelings you are describing and maybe she would think about taking you back.

If you do try to win her back, perhaps don't involve anyone else in your decision, like family members...that is rather a school boy behaviour, if you won't take offense at me saying so. I am just being observant, not critical.

And before you make that decision, try to examine your actions and ways you could change in this area. Just a few suggestions...best wishes. You really sound like you love her very much. It would be sad to lose a loving relationship over unfounded jealousy.