[flash]

Dear Benjamin:

Is it possible for someone to feel too good? Is it possible to find that which we all feel is missing in our lives, without it having to be drug induced? Is it possible to find one's connection within the logic of the universe - and not be considered "crazy", or diagnosed as "schizotypal"? . . .Because I think I may have found that "missing link".

Could it be that we are all missing the most obvious of connections - the one that we keep "bumping" into periodically? While we are all searching "out there" somewhere for our happiness - it has been "in here" with us, all along?

Is it possible, that by not making that "connection" with our internal guidance system, we are being set-up to endure all of these other dysfunctions that we can't seem to completely cure? Simply because it is that connection with our-self that affects a healing within, via recognizing the exact cause to begin with?

Is it possible that our primary dysfunction is the codependent relationship between that which "we think, therefor we are" (ego) - and the internal guidance system that causes us to be aware of our own presence of being (psyche)?

What is normal? . . . nuk-nuk-nuk . . .just kidding!

flash

[flash]

Am I in love? That's a very good question!

Yes! I guess that I've learned that you have to love yourself, before you can love another - corny huh?

flash

[Benjamin Fry]

You would need to tell me more about what you have exactly experienced, how and why. Iíd speculate that you may be enjoying some spiritually uplifting experiences, or you may be suffering from some emotional dysfunction, perhaps where the bad in the world is split off from your reality and you are left with just the good, at least for now. Without more information and more context, Iím not quite sure how to be helpful.

[flash]

Dear Benjamin:

Thankyou for the reply.

I'm not certain how to explain to you what has happened - perhaps, not in a way that a complete stranger would believe. Quite simply, I was looking for answers. The same answers that everyone else is basically searching for. I got answers. I received answers for questions that I haven't even asked yet!

I suppose that I am telling you this, as much for your benifit, as my own . . . In order to continue this exponetial process of growth and live it - one must speak it.

It was while feeling the same frustrations of life that everyone else endures. I was feeling particularly overwhelmed by a few events in my life, when I happened to remember a technique that an old anesthetist friend of mine had shown me (he had been teaching hypnosis to dentists for pain and blood-flow control back in the seventies).

I should tell you that I have never, never been religious by any concept able to be produced by one's imagination. But, at times, I could be somewhat agnostic . . . There must be some order to the universe - but it has to make sense.

I began to ask, at first. Then demand answers of whatever logic might be the contiguous intelligence of the obvious reality by which we are surrounded.

Man, did I get answers! I now realize that I should mention - becareful about demanding answers! I am quite sure that within the two and a half hours that I went "visiting" that day, that every universal truth went trough me. Since that time, it seems as though I have been on a learning curve that at times is going straight-up.

Profound truth . . . just keeps coming. Such as the logical answer for our existence contained within quantum physics. It begins with a single sentence (and yes, I can follow it to its logical conclusion). It begins with a single sentence, it is where we began - only it has no beginning, it's a circle.

"Time is the illusion created when mass is placed in motion." One will, by ego's reasoning, argue that the statement doesn't seem like a beginning. But, if time was created once accelerated energy became mass in motion, that would mean prior to that event there was no time . . . So how does one measure a beginning?

There are also three dimensions of time . . . Direction (forward or backward). Density (velocity of mass slows-down, or speeds-up time) And the moment of "now." As the density of mass decreases, the density of time increases, and visa versa.

Mostly what I have gotten from this experience, is how the impaired relationship between the ego and the spirit has caused a "primary codependence" in mankind, that has been passed from one generation to another. It is the fundamental source for all of our other dysfunctions beginning with our "existential insecurity" left by the hole, which suppression of that feeling part of the self leaves in its wake. It becomes the basic "projected" insecurity, and means, by which we justify our greed, and much worse.

One of the by-products of our primary dysfunction, is why we cannot answer a simple question: "Why does history repeat itself?" The answer to this question is contained within the chain of evidence - which we cannot connect with, because it too becomes a circle, or a cycle.

We deny our truth. Basic truth. We even deny that we live in a world of lies created by our own denial.

So tell me - am I sick?

[flash]

Dear "unregistered":


What is my motive? Do I have an angle? Do I have an agenda? Is my motive self-serving?

Suspicion of others is one of the primary by-products of our imairment between ego and spirit. It's root is our insecurity in our very existence. "Why am I here, what is my purpose? Why do I feel so powerless, helpless, hopeless? Why do I feel like such an insignificant being?" Wow - three years ago, could I identify with all of that!

Have I found something that no one else can find? . . . No! What I was looking for has always been a part of me. It is what inexorably connects us to the "source." Only, I had been programmed to assist in tuning that part of me out. I, like everyone else, had been programmed to look outside of "me" for that which I felt had been missing my entire life. "Let's see - could what I "feel" is missing in my life be, love? No, obviously not, because I can't seem to find anyone who needs me, as much as I need them. Could what I "feel" is missing in my life, be money? Yeah! That must be it! Money will make me happy!

But, then I reached a point where I had enough money - and some was not enough. Trying to aquire "enough" money, only seemed to make me more miserable!

Then "an event" happened to cause me to realize, that what I "felt" was missing, was feeling itself. I realized, that what it was that I had been looking for my entire life - is what I had been "bumping-into" all along. That feeling part of my-self. Only, because of my programming and early trauma, I had learned not to be so "feeling." So I denied the feeling of who I really was - a spiritual energy, who speaks to me by feeling (at first), here trying to have some kind of human experience. But, the "I think, therefor I am" part of me would come raging back in, trying to convince me that there is only the part that I think I am.

A funny thing happened though, as I allowed myself to "feel." I became more aware of the events that had caused me to not feel, as well as some of the painful feelings associated with experience of the past.

What is my motivation? To speak of a truth that I have become aware of, which is so profound that I couldn't begin to articulate it until fairly recently.

Love flash . . .And "flash" pretty well sums-up the way in which it hit me.

p.s. Do I think that you have missed the point? No. But, like all of us, you don't really need anyone to tell you how to find that place - you merely need confirmation that it exists. We try and sneak-up on it - when we should be trying to tackle it!

[Benjamin Fry]

Well you raise some interesting ideas. It is true that time is merely an illusion generated by motion, and motion requires some substance. Time is essentially a measurement of the frequency of motion. Your other ideas carry similarly reasonable assertations and I donít doubt that many of these notions do come from the recesses of your wise unconscious, all-knowing, all-seeing mind.

My only concern might be about why and how these hitherto unconscious ideas are now popping up in the consciousness. If you have been experimenting with hypnosis then this could be one explanation, and perhaps one that might benefit from a little care. Also you mention that you have been under some stress. Iíd like to hear more about the general conditions of your life before these events.

Sudden spiritual awakenings are not impossible, but they can be hard to feel comfortable with. The founder of AA had one in a moment of despair about his alcoholism, and that led to the 12-step movement which helps millions now for free. St. Paul famously also had such an epiphany on the road to Damascus.

However these kinds of comments are also in the possible realm of those who are suffering from some mental instability. I think that it is not so much the truth of the statements themselves that are judged, but rather their relevance and appropriateness to the current context. Someone who spends all day talking about concepts of time and forgets to wash or eat can look like they need a little help.

So Iím afraid I canít answer your question ìam I sickî. You would have to tell me more about your real world circumstances and perhaps let me know what you think too.

[flash]

Did you ever wonder where some of mankind's most profound ideas come from? Do great ideas originate from the darkest recesses of our subconscious mind, when somehow, some bit of all collected data, triggered by some rebel neurotransmitter, for some reason, in a moment of time becomes "collated" - and the 25 watt bulb lights-up? When struck by some very profound idea - did we just happen to make contact with that part of our mind where every bit of our life's experience is stored? Or is there available to us all, a connection, an "up-link", that allows us to tap-into a logic on a deeper level. Albert Einstein seemed to think so.

Of all of the theoretical hypothesis, of which Einstein conjectured, what part do we surmise was part of his previous subconscious knowing experience on this planet? Witnin early twentieth century, what was known about "heavy elements" and their relationship relative to velocity? Or the consequence of "time" and "velocity", relative to the "half-life" of matter?

When we ponder about where the "theory of relativity" and "The special theory of relativity" came from, we could call it a process of steps within thought surrounding "hypothesis." These steps, say, would number one-to-one thousand, when thinking about transporting an ideology of this hypothesis from its original notion, or idea, via linear thought to its logical conclusion. How steps, say 100 through 1000 were derived, are easy for us to rationalize by using the process of extrapolation by applying linear thought. . . . But what about steps 1 through 100 - where did these first one hundred steps within the process come from? Sure we could conjecture that Einstein's hypothesis was influenced by others performing, and en route to, reaching the same conclusions. But where did these initial notions that formed steps 1 through 100 - come from in these "others?"

Did you ever just know that something was truth, because it became validated by other truth?

Is it possible, that there exists within us all, an up-link that connects us to that same source of information? No! . . . Not while we are busy denying the possibility of having any connection with it. Is this connection, or higher logic simply brought about due to the fact that we are an assimilated intellect due to the collection of the large number of atoms that make-up our mass? If that is true, shouldn't an elephant be capable of thought on a deeper level than we?

Most of us, myself included until just recently, once that the "feeling" connection that is our up-link is sufficiently suppressed, deny any connection associated with it. We become what we think that we are. Speaking for myself again, I had adopted what could only be called a "Darwinian" view of our existence. We are all born into this "hell" by some stroke of blind luck.

I have come to believe that we cannot discern the difference between what is truth and lie, when the majority of our population is in "denial" of this up-link." History is about to repeat itself once again - only we will deny this as well. We think that we see the results and effect in the aftermath of terrorist attacks upon our country from a few years ago. But what we are in the process of doing is denying truth that we have seen with our own eyes. It becomes much easier for the ego, to allow someone else to think for us. Once that we realize that the economic-political structure of societies undergoes a series of phases, or stages, we will come to understand in depth, the role that the manifestation of the extreme end of our dysfunction plays. The psychopathic personality begins to rise to the challenge that those of us with a shred of connection to that up-link, and conscience, will not perform.

In the final analysis conducted in the aftermath of history having repeated itself, once more, we will again express abhorence of the barbaric nature of man. What we will not see, perhaps, is the role that our own denial played within fulfilling this cycle. . . .But we are learning.

Pure intellect derived from logic, originates from our connection to the logic that is part of all-things. We have cognizant access to both the good - and the bad that is stored within this vessel. The choice is ours to draw from either one.

Love flash

[flash]

Dear Benjamin:

Yes, I should tell you more about the conditions of my life prior to my awakening. I should however point out that I am no longer the person who was driven by compulsion and obsessed with a need to define myself through everyone else and judge everyone else based on that definition. That should help with your analysis of who I was. Was I an obsessive-compulsive by clinical definition - I don't think so. But, I now realize that I possibly exibited enough symptoms of borderline personality disorder, in order to qualify clinically. I had also been diagnosed with "seasonal depression." I am in the process of enjoying something, which not too long ago would only bring me misery - the sights, smells and sounds of a fall day!

I am perhaps a bit shy of sharing all of the details of how what has happened to me, happened, on an open forum. But I'm not shy about sharing facets relative to how "screwed-up" I was. I now realize that the reason I would get depressed in the fall was not because of the changing of the seasons, but because it reminded me of an event that had happened near the change of season when I was twelve. Even though I could not make connection between the two consciously.

Mental instability? When this thing first began to occur, I wasn't sure who to go and see - a psychiatrist, or a psychic. I'm glad now that I first chose the latter! Yes, I thought that I was going crazy! I mean, what would you feel, if you thought that you now understood the physics involved that is causing time to "speed-up?" The scope and purpose of this lesson being to understand that we cannot help but get to where we are going - back to the light from whence we came.

Three years ago, my relationship with my wife was miserable! We would usually, on average of about once a month, end-up sitting at our kitchen table discussing the terms of our impending divorce! It is how we manifest our dysfunction in our interpersonal relationships.

Understanding our relationship by understanding our most basic of dysfunctions as human's, has turned our life around. We are more in love than we have been in many, many years. We now understand, how we had been painting ourselves into a corner - without ever knowing why. We realize now, how dysfunctional our relationship was, because of repressed trauma - the repression of feelings, which bury our psyche, or spirit in our subconscious mind. Our relationship was one of literally; her viewing me as her father, and my viewing myself through her. If that sounds confusing - imagine living that way for twenty five years!

It is obvious that you are a sensative and caring creature - otherwise you would not be doing what you are doing to help others. And I can only imagine the frustration felt by someone who attempts to treat people from a perspective that must be somewhat less than "holistic." Once that you cross that line, you would have religious fanatics lined-up around the block . . . "But that's not what the Bible says."

Many people have experienced what I have. But then they stop and get hooked on the feel-good drugs that the body is producing as a reaction. They don't complete the "circle." We must facilitate the truth that we have now realized, within our everyday lives.

We are literally taught to shut that feeling part of ourselves out. This along with trauma, sometimes serious trauma, burying that part of us that is our connection to our truth. Our guidance system. It becomes the basis of our imairment between ego and spirit, which corrupts the truth by our power of reason. When "our truth" personally has become corrupted enough by the ego in order to "survive", we once again begin to look outside of the self for affirmation of its existence. We arrive at organized religion, but because it makes no sense, we can only hold a book as proof of our truth. And only through faith in this book, can we teach intolerence, through faith, to our young.

Love flash

[Benjamin Fry]

What you talk about would seem to parallel many of the ideas of how to elevate the mind to a higher spiritual awareness. However these notions can sometimes be difficult to contain within a more down to earth psyche. There is a spiritual notion of kundalini, which is a spiritual energy within us. When the kundalini rises, these kinds of ideas can become freed into the conscious mind. However the mind and the body must be carefully readied. Short cuts (through drugs or mind games) can create a difficult imbalance. The result can be symptoms that may be more ordinarily interpreted as mental illness or instability. Your reluctance to specify certain aspects of your life here suggests to me that there is work still to be done in your emotional journey and that things may be getting a little out of order due to the hypnotism and associated experiences.

Iíd suggest that you explore some grounding exercises. If you can find an experienced spiritual practitioner, such as a yogi or meditation expert then they could help. Buddhist monasteries are often a great resource for this. Eat lots of rice and pulses and make sure you exercise well. Nature is also a great comfort. If you have any enduring concerns then you should try to see a mental health professional for a personal assessment to reassure yourself if necessary.

[flash]

Benjamin, I guess that I'm not sure what it is that you wish to know about me? I guess that I have also had a feeling, from reading some of your advice to others, that you might have insight into what I am speaking of, which you would be willing to share. But, I can take the hint and I thank you for your advice.

In my opinion, the difference between cynicism and truth, is a matter of perspective. The truth resonates from a higher perspective of self.

Probably, the highest truth that I have come to realize from my new-found insight, is that which completes the circle: When we see something wrong taking place within our world, which we know that we may affect change over, and we do nothing, we are by default creating the reality that our children, their children, and their children's children - will live in.

Love flash