[Kristina555]

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[Kristina555]

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[Rimu]

"lesbianism" is not a sin. how can love be a sin?

[Kristina555]

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[Benjamin Fry]

What she wants is to drive you nuts. There is a defensive mechanism of the emotional system which in effect works to protect ourselves from very difficult emotions by projecting them out into others. You may have noticed this in relationships when if you are feeling very uncomfortable and succeed in driving someone else to the point of losing their temper, you then feel nice and calm. Itís like you pass on the pain.

Girls schools do have a reputation for some very strong mind games being played. I have to say that in my anecdotal experience this does seem to be worse in Catholic schools. A group of young women are trying to blossom into their adult bodies while at the same time being fed a dogma that is actually very aggressively repressive of women and their sexuality. Itís a potent cocktail.

When women are together in a group they are just as competitive as men, but the mechanism of their jostling for power is more subtle. They tend not to get into physical fights, but instead use more subtle manipulative skills. These are developed in order to help them cope with the more dominant physiques of men, but are also often used among women.

I suspect that your friend is a superb mind-game player. I also suspect that she is very confused and unhappy about her sexuality. If she is homosexual and also devoutly Catholic then she does have some very serious conflicts to work through within her own mind, body and soul. Rather than do so, I think she may be projecting these issues onto you. The question is why is she able to do so and why do you let her.

The answer may lie in your complicated and traumatic family history. You have lacked a mother and now may idealise those girls at school who you think are powerful ñ perhaps looking for a strong female that you lacked for many years as a child. Also loving your father and yet knowing that he is a murderer is a tremendous conflict. It is so natural to love your own dad, but equally we all instinctively deeply deplore the act of murder ñ another fundamental conflict for you to wrestle with.

Perhaps you can tell me more about your family history and your feelings about them? I suspect that if you concentrate your emotional attention there, then you may start to find that this girl at school has less of a hold over you. Iím speculating that she has become a cipher for working through the emotional issues that actually relate more directly to your family.

[Rimu]

have you spoken to her about it?

[Kristina555]

its very confusing like a basic instinct story WHO AM I KIDDING IT IS! this morning out of nowhere she walks past me and deliberately pushes me, and i tried to talk to her but she doesnt say anything so i end up getting embarrased

[Kristina555]

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[Kristina555]

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[Kristina555]

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