[marina]

I have posted some issues with regards to this topic on 'Sexual Frustration' but feel it to be a topic valid in its own right.

I have had sexual fantasies about women for a number of years now and have been rather unhappily pursuing relationships /dates with men.

I am now really questioning my sexual identity and am now chatting to other ladies (online) who feel the same way with the possiblity of developing things. I find this incredibly scary as I know my (everyday) friends would not really approve and I would risk losing their friendship completely. I also know that my family would disapprove. But I cant go on living a lie.

The trouble is I am having a bit of a crisis and am swinging (not in the way some people online do!!!) from accepting that I find women sexually attractive and wanting to explore that further, to being in denial of those feelings as I have done all my life.

I have never really known many gay people and have often thought them to be a bit strange, but now I am accepting those feelings in myself. Afterall what difference does it make, if you find love and happiness with someone, whether they are male or female?

Am sure you will answer my other post, but just felt I'd start this as a new topic to find others opinions too.

[ray]

Hi Marina,
I read some satistics in the paper a week ago and they were quite in your favour. I don't remember the stats but they were a suprise.
I don't know your age, but as a single 29 year old this subject is of interest.
A survey of Australian women in nightclubs found many young to 30 something women had engaged in or pursued same sex relations or activities of a same sex relationship. There was a variety of reasons and influences (including drugs/alcohol) , but still the figure was more than just a small handful of women.
In my opinion you should let your desires be expressed and experienced in a safe and healthy manner. Why would one hold back from their innermost desires for happiness for no reason, or just to be socially acceptable to straight narrow minded people, satisfy your own wants if they are reasonable and disregard others' unacceptance, and maybe even the unacceptance that you have of your own desires.
You will only find out if a same sax relationship is right for you if you experience it for yourself, no one can expain if it is good or not.
"Afterall what difference does it make, if you find love and happiness with someone, whether they are male or female?" None to you, except that you will be labelled "gay" and sadly for guys like me, another one we will have no chance with.
But your happiness is of most importance and satisfy that, don't waste your life wondering what might have been. Take charge and enjoy your life as you want to.
Do what you do safely, with good people only, you have one body and don't want to introduce it to many bad things out there in this dirty world we all live in. Enjoy.
Ray.

[Rimu]

until you have a sexual experience with a woman you will never really know for sure...

just try it. if you try it and don't like it, then that doesn't make you "a lesbian" (if you wanna get into labels), it just means you tried it. on the other hand, if you try it and love it, then you have an extra experience in life to enjoy.

i think that lines between straight, bi and gay are artificial; it's more of a spectrum, with colours blending into one another... so what if you're a little bit lesbian or a little bit bi? you don't have to 'choose' what you are, you just are.

there is nothing to be afraid of and everything to gain