4 years ago, after I had my daughter, I gained about 40 lbs. on a 5'2" frame, that's no good. I've started losing some of the inches, but don't know how to lose the low self image I gained with the fat. I don't want this to ruin my marriage, it's already been very hard on us. Any suggestions on building self-esteem.
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self-esteem how do you regain self-esteem?
#2 Guest_Hilary_*
Posted 27 July 2004 - 04:42 PM
Hello there!
I'm struck by the fact that nobody has replied to your post until now - which I'm sure hasn't been much of an encouragement to you. First I want to reassure you that you are not alone. I, too, have problems both with my weight and with my self-esteem (I think they often go together) and there are lots of us out here in the same situation.
I suggest to you that it's probably going to be more worthwhile concentrating on the self esteem issue, and I say that for 2 reasons. Firstly, if you start to feel better about who you are, your body is likely to bring itself into better balance and you may lose the extra weight without such a lot of effort. Secondly, if you feel better about yourself you will cope even if you don't ever quite attain your pre-pregnancy shape again. Conversely, if you have low self esteem, you are likely to be dissatisfied with yourself no matter how slim you get.
Though I am still a long way from where I want to be with this, I have found Louise Hay's book "You can heal your life" helpful, and also what Benjamin has written about our fundamental need being to survive, which drives everything else we do. If we discover we can survive without putting on or retaining extra weight, it goes away much more easily.
Hope some of this is helpful to you.
Love, Hilary.
I'm struck by the fact that nobody has replied to your post until now - which I'm sure hasn't been much of an encouragement to you. First I want to reassure you that you are not alone. I, too, have problems both with my weight and with my self-esteem (I think they often go together) and there are lots of us out here in the same situation.
I suggest to you that it's probably going to be more worthwhile concentrating on the self esteem issue, and I say that for 2 reasons. Firstly, if you start to feel better about who you are, your body is likely to bring itself into better balance and you may lose the extra weight without such a lot of effort. Secondly, if you feel better about yourself you will cope even if you don't ever quite attain your pre-pregnancy shape again. Conversely, if you have low self esteem, you are likely to be dissatisfied with yourself no matter how slim you get.
Though I am still a long way from where I want to be with this, I have found Louise Hay's book "You can heal your life" helpful, and also what Benjamin has written about our fundamental need being to survive, which drives everything else we do. If we discover we can survive without putting on or retaining extra weight, it goes away much more easily.
Hope some of this is helpful to you.
Love, Hilary.
#3 Guest_yasmeen_*
Posted 29 July 2004 - 08:35 PM
Hi.
Losing weight and building self-esteem are both difficult tasks which take time and cannot happen overnight. However, by focusing on your goal every single day, with determination, one step at a time, you can definately achieve the results you want.
Remember that these are both gradual processes and do not get disheartened if things are not changing as quickly as you would like them to.
I do not know if this is of any help but it might be worth making a plan. Make a diet plan and make a plan to build up your self esteem.
There are so many diets out there. do some research. Figure out the best one to suit your lifestyle. Then make a promise to yourself that no matter how hard it will be, you are going to stick to it. If you stray now and then, just come back to it.
As for a plan to build self-esteem. Ask yourself exactly which areas of your life do you feel you are lacking in. Make a list of things you feel you should know, experience, learn. Then take steps to make these a real part of your life. Find courses you would like to do or skills you would like to learn. Make a little bit of time everyday for yourself to fill that void that you feel is lacking in your life, which is causing you to feel inadequate in some way.
Another suggestion is to ask your close friends to make a list of your positive attributes. Keep looking at this list. Everyday. It will remind you of all the things about you that are so special. It will make you see that low self esteem is the result of us focusing on our negative qualities and building them up, while ignoring our positive qualities.
Remember this is a gradual process. Follow it everyday.
You deserve to!
I hope this is helpful to you.
Good luck!
Yasmeen
Losing weight and building self-esteem are both difficult tasks which take time and cannot happen overnight. However, by focusing on your goal every single day, with determination, one step at a time, you can definately achieve the results you want.
Remember that these are both gradual processes and do not get disheartened if things are not changing as quickly as you would like them to.
I do not know if this is of any help but it might be worth making a plan. Make a diet plan and make a plan to build up your self esteem.
There are so many diets out there. do some research. Figure out the best one to suit your lifestyle. Then make a promise to yourself that no matter how hard it will be, you are going to stick to it. If you stray now and then, just come back to it.
As for a plan to build self-esteem. Ask yourself exactly which areas of your life do you feel you are lacking in. Make a list of things you feel you should know, experience, learn. Then take steps to make these a real part of your life. Find courses you would like to do or skills you would like to learn. Make a little bit of time everyday for yourself to fill that void that you feel is lacking in your life, which is causing you to feel inadequate in some way.
Another suggestion is to ask your close friends to make a list of your positive attributes. Keep looking at this list. Everyday. It will remind you of all the things about you that are so special. It will make you see that low self esteem is the result of us focusing on our negative qualities and building them up, while ignoring our positive qualities.
Remember this is a gradual process. Follow it everyday.
You deserve to!
I hope this is helpful to you.
Good luck!
Yasmeen
#4
Delh2 
- Advanced Member
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- Group: Members
- Posts: 86
- Joined: 11-July 04
Posted 29 July 2004 - 09:34 PM
Also, remember that if you have a bad day with dieting, there is always tomorrow to wipe the slate clean and to start over. That feeling of optimism each morning may carry you through to another successful day. This has worked very well with my friends and with myself. Good luck. It's a day-by-day process.
#5 Guest_djjollyham_*
Posted 31 July 2004 - 01:33 AM
Hello all that replied...all 3 of you...Just wanted to say that your support in just leaving a message for me says a lot about your characters. It also meant a lot to me that you are willing to help. Of course, that's what this site is all about right? Helping others. I will take all the great suggestions and put them to work in my every day life. I just need to take it day by day.
Thank You So Much!!! Michele
#6
Delh2
- Advanced Member
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- Group: Members
- Posts: 86
- Joined: 11-July 04
Posted 03 August 2004 - 10:31 PM
Hi,
We're so glad we could help in some small way. It took me one year to lose 50 pounds and I have kept it off for two years. However, I also noticed that I lost interest in eating those "temptations" after being able to fit into size 10's again. My favorite diet food was Orville Redenbacker's Smart Pop popcorn. It has the least fat and you can eat the whole bag in one sitting and the weight will still drop off. Of course I lived on and still live on caffeine free diet soda. If you crave sugar, buy packages of after dinner mints...no fat and you can eat quite a few for about 130 calories. Read the labels on every item you buy at the grocer's. I pretty much lost all interest in meat of any kind. My one treat every week was to buy a McDonald's double cheeseburger...no fries of course.
Keep up your determination and we'll be your cheerleaders!
We're so glad we could help in some small way. It took me one year to lose 50 pounds and I have kept it off for two years. However, I also noticed that I lost interest in eating those "temptations" after being able to fit into size 10's again. My favorite diet food was Orville Redenbacker's Smart Pop popcorn. It has the least fat and you can eat the whole bag in one sitting and the weight will still drop off. Of course I lived on and still live on caffeine free diet soda. If you crave sugar, buy packages of after dinner mints...no fat and you can eat quite a few for about 130 calories. Read the labels on every item you buy at the grocer's. I pretty much lost all interest in meat of any kind. My one treat every week was to buy a McDonald's double cheeseburger...no fries of course.
Keep up your determination and we'll be your cheerleaders!
#8
Mirella
- Newbie
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- Group: Members
- Posts: 9
- Joined: 26-July 04
Posted 04 August 2004 - 01:27 PM
Hello djjollyham!!!
I've read you post and I think that I have one more idea for you. Have you heard of the Herbalife products? They are products that help you control your weight. You can use them either to lose or gain weight. It depends from the way you use them. You will not find them at the stores. You have to find an independent consultant and he/she will be responsible for your program. He/she present to you all the products and he/she will help you in this procedure. These products are totally from natural ingredients and excpet from controlling your weight can help you have energy, nice skin and prevent you from diseases because they include many useful ingredients for you organism. You can see them on the internet. The web address is www.herbalife.com. I don't know where are you coming from but if you are from UK you can find them for sure.
I hope I helped you in a way.
I've read you post and I think that I have one more idea for you. Have you heard of the Herbalife products? They are products that help you control your weight. You can use them either to lose or gain weight. It depends from the way you use them. You will not find them at the stores. You have to find an independent consultant and he/she will be responsible for your program. He/she present to you all the products and he/she will help you in this procedure. These products are totally from natural ingredients and excpet from controlling your weight can help you have energy, nice skin and prevent you from diseases because they include many useful ingredients for you organism. You can see them on the internet. The web address is www.herbalife.com. I don't know where are you coming from but if you are from UK you can find them for sure.
I hope I helped you in a way.
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